Episode 102 – Kindling Kindness

Speaker 1 (00:01):

Welcome to a podcast designed to bring biblical encouragement to your weary soul. We are so glad you’re listening and we pray God blesses you and strengthens you in your walk with him. The Sweet Selah Moments Podcast is brought to you by the cooperative efforts of Sweet Selah Ministries and Word Radio. Sit back and enjoy.

Nicole (00:28):

Welcome to the Sweet Selah Moments Podcast. This is episode 102, Kindling Kindness in Ourselves and Others. I like this title Sharon. Kindness takes work and we do need to kindle it and start that fire of desiring to not just be nice, but to be kind to others.

Sharon (00:44):

Yes, kindness costs us. It means we need to get out of our own way and notice another’s troubles and not just focus on our own. And then we have to do something about their troubles. And that can be troublesome.

Nicole (00:58):

Yeah.

Sharon (00:58):

If we are feeling a bit busy and preoccupied ourselves. So let’s try to recall some times, can you recall, some times some people were kind to you because honestly, kindness is so nice when it’s done to you.

Nicole (01:10):

Mm-hmm. Yeah. And it can really stay with you for a long time.

Sharon (01:12):

It can.

Nicole (01:13):

My daughter just came back from snow camp this weekend. I was remembering my first time in snow camp, and I was a very awkward, homeschooled child that was not making friends so well. There was only two other girls from our church and they just were not interested in being friends with me. So I was sitting one day kind of lonely, and one of the youth leaders came up and she just took me under her wing.

Sharon (01:33):

Awww.

Nicole (01:33):

Nicole, let’s go ice skating. We went ice skating and cross country skiing. And we talked and laughed. And she told me about Anne of Green Gables, and she just completely blessed my heart as a little girl. And I had stayed close with her over the years. And actually about two years ago, I wrote her a letter and just thanked her for her kindness to me when I was younger. Cause I just was such an awkward, lonely child.

Sharon (01:54):

That is beautiful. Because honestly, your whole thought process of going away to retreats could have been ruined.

Nicole (02:01):

Oh yeah. I would not have gone back if it wasn’t for her. I was being made fun of.

Sharon (02:06):

She invested a lot of time in you it sounds like.

Nicole (02:07):

She did. Who wants to hang out with a sixth, seventh grader for an entire, I mean, she really was so kind to me.

Sharon (02:12):

Oh. I love her.

Nicole (02:13):

I know.

Sharon (02:13):

I don’t even know her and I love her.

Nicole (02:15):

I love her too. And now I watch Anne of Green Gables. I’m like, hello, Cheryl. You’re just such a wonderful human.

Sharon (02:21):

I love that.

Nicole (02:22):

So that really stuck with me. And I remember when Josh and I were young, we hadn’t gotten married just yet. We were trying to work through marriage. We were dating in our old church and this married couple who I thought was super cool. (Sharon: Yeah) They had like five kids. It kind of like felt like they had life all together. They took us out to ice cream one night and just told us we were doing a good job. (Oh) They were proud of us. And how we were trying to be godly and seek God in our coming up marriage. And we were really like, wow, thank you. Like, they’re like, oh, Josh was a trustee at the time, um, a trustee in training, and I was on the missionary committee. They’re like, we love seeing you guys serve in the church. We’re really proud of you. And whoa. Like, they saw us.

Sharon (02:59):

Wow. They did. And they had how many kids?

Nicole (03:00):

They had five kids

Sharon (03:02):

And they took you guys out.

Nicole (03:03):

Maybe six, they had a lot of kids. Right. And now as a mother of four, I’m like, that was huge.

Sharon (03:07):

Oh yeah, that’s right how huge that was.

Nicole (03:09):

I mean like this is huge. Like, I just, I never forgot them taking us out to ice cream so randomly to show us.

Sharon (03:14):

That was such a huge time investment.

Nicole (03:15):

Yes. I just love that. So that was really special. And then recently, I’m just loving PCA. (a school) Everyone’s so polite in the pickup and drop off line. They always let me out. It used to kind of feel like you gotta wait your turn and bust out before everyone else to get in line and to move here. And if you’ve ever been through the PCA pickup line, it’s rather twisty turning. It is curvy. It can be confusing and stressful. (Sharon: Uhhuh) But the kindness of people there stopping to let people out. I’m just, I’m always shocked. And my girls laugh at me like, oh, they let us out. They’re like, mom, you say that every time. Like, but I’m so surprised. Like they let me out. Like they stop the line of traffic and let me get out.

Sharon (03:55):

That is so nice.

Nicole (03:55):

I’m just so touched by kindness and it cheers me up for, you know, until someone cuts me off when I leave PCA.

Sharon (04:01):

But isn’t it funny how a small thing can do a big thing?

Nicole (04:04):

Oh yeah. You know, like, just, just change your mood.

Sharon (04:06):

Like ice cream.

Nicole (04:06):

Yes.

Sharon (04:07):

This couple, going back to them. They took you out not for a meal.

Nicole (04:11):

Right, just some ice cream.

Sharon (04:11):

And didn’t take you out multiple times. They took you out for ice cream.

Nicole (04:14):

Yeah.

Sharon (04:14):

And somebody let you go ahead of them in line with a smile.

Nicole (04:18):

Yes.

Sharon (04:19):

Little things can make such a difference.

Nicole (04:21):

It doesn’t take much.

Sharon (04:22):

Yeah. Kindness is huge to change attitude. Yeah. I can remember when Kathryn was first born. My mom and my British grandmother came to stay with us. Of course.

Nicole (04:33):

Oh.

Sharon (04:34):

But Kathryn was two weeks late. (Nicole: Oh) So my grandmother had a flight back to England very soon. (Yeah) So they could only stay like two days and so they left very quickly cause they had to go back to Massachusetts where my mother lived, and I was in Maryland, and then fly grandmother home. (Yeah) And I was all by myself, with a baby and I didn’t know what to do. And my mother had not stayed long enough to make me feel safe. And one neighbor who I didn’t even know that well, just made a crockpot beef stew. Oh. I mean with, you know, golden mushroom Campbell’s soup. We’re talking not that great. Right?

Nicole (05:09):

Right.

Sharon (05:10):

It was the best soup, stew, excuse me, I had ever tasted, I got the recipe. Every time I make the stew, I think of how much that little act of kindness (Nicole: Oh yeah) did for a young mom holding a baby and scared to death she was gonna break her. You know?

Nicole (05:26):

Right. Just having a meal made with that love.

Sharon (05:29):

So beautiful.

Nicole (05:29):

Oh.

Sharon (05:29):

Yeah.

Nicole (05:30):

That is sweet.

Sharon (05:30):

Right. And it’s helped me remember, I don’t have to do a gourmet feast for somebody.

Nicole (05:34):

I know.

Sharon (05:34):

Right?

Nicole (05:34):

We get hung up on doing something so big and so perfect that we don’t often do kindnesses.

Sharon (05:39):

Right. And it’s better to do a small kindness than no kindness, cause you can’t do a great kindness.

Nicole (05:43):

That’s true. That’s a good phrase. I like that.

Sharon (05:47):

There you go. So, okay, back to our theme. Kindness is also a fruit of the Spirit. (Nicole: Mm-hmm) Those who walk with God, who is kind, become more like him over time as he leads them. Christians are called to this kind of living (Mmm-hmm) even when it’s awkward or inconvenient or plain exhausting.

Nicole (06:04):

Yeah.

Sharon (06:05):

You know, you still gotta throw in the Campbell soup and make the crockpot or whatever.

Nicole (06:09):

Right.

Sharon (06:09):

And it’s actually one reason I love belonging to a church cause we can practice kindness together.

Nicole (06:13):

Yeah.

Sharon (06:14):

When someone has a need, we all bring one meal (Nicole: Mm-hmm) for example, in a two week period.

Nicole (06:18):

Right.

Sharon (06:18):

Instead of one person bringing all the meals, we work together to serve and help a family that can’t afford a moving van. And we all carry the boxes.

Nicole (06:27):

Yeah.

Sharon (06:27):

It makes it a little easier to be kind.

Nicole (06:30):

It’s true. It’s kind of like our little, our little offering we give gets multiplied to so many more things. You know, bringing our two loaves and our five wait, five loaves, two fish. The fish and the loaves.

Sharon (06:40):

Those ones, yeah.

Nicole (06:40):

Bringing those little ones. Just bringing our little bit to God and like, I am so busy with my kiddos, I just have enough money, time to make one meal. But then five other families are making a meal for that family too.

Sharon (06:51):

Right.

Nicole (06:51):

And I love that. You know?

Sharon (06:52):

Yeah. Yeah. Being together is, kindness together is,

Nicole (06:55):

It’s huge.

Sharon (06:56):

Huge. It’s actually easier.

Nicole (06:57):

Yeah. And I think those are the things that can change the world and change people’s hearts is kindness. It’s an easy thing to multiply.

Sharon (07:04):

It is.

Nicole (07:04):

You know, I think you’ve heard those stories where one person will pay for the person behind like, oh, I’ll pay for their coffee.

Sharon (07:09):

Oh, that’s right.

Nicole (07:10):

I love those stories. Like 155 people will go through, you know, a coffee shop and they pay for the person,

Sharon (07:15):

Yeah, paying it forward.

Nicole (07:15):

Yeah.

Sharon (07:16):

Yeah.

Nicole (07:16):

How fun. Like that can change your whole trajectory of your day.

Sharon (07:19):

It sure can.

Nicole (07:19):

And you’re not really out any extra money cause the person before you paid.

Sharon (07:23):

No, exactly.

Nicole (07:24):

It’s just the thought, that momentum.

Sharon (07:25):

It is. And once you’ve had kindness done and you realize how a little thing does a big thing?

Nicole (07:30):

Yeah.

Sharon (07:31):

You know, then you’re more willing to do it. So.

Nicole (07:33):

You know kindness is a huge way that we as Christians can make a big impact in the lives of those around us. You know, I think for non-believers in those millions of little ways, you know it, but it takes a thoughtfulness to look out for ways to bless. And it does require putting of others’ needs ahead of our own.

Sharon (07:49):

It does. You have to look and think, what do they need?

Nicole (07:51):

And we’re not naturally that way. We’re kind of selfish.

Sharon (07:53):

No. Because we’re always quote, ‘busy’.

Nicole (07:55):

Yeah.

Sharon (07:55):

Right. (Nicole: Yeah). Right. Agree. Well, when I think of an Old Testament example of kindness, the book of Ruth springs to mind. That whole story is (Nicole: Yes) kindness overload. So Nicole, can you set the stage for this story? And then you and I are gonna read back and forth together a little bit of it.

Nicole (08:11):

Yeah. I love this story.

Sharon (08:12):

I do too.

Nicole (08:14):

So it starts out that there’s a famine in their land, in their hometown. So Naomi’s husband moves her to a foreign land. They with their two sons. And then while they’re living there, her husband dies. Which is so sad. And then her two sons marry these two girls from a foreign land. And then her two sons die and she’s left. Naomi is left in this foreign land with no husband, no sons. No way to support herself. No hope. What does she do?

Sharon (08:39):

Yeah. Pretty awful.

Nicole (08:41):

That’s pretty awful.

Sharon (08:42):

And no grandchildren either.

Nicole (08:42):

Right. And back then women could not support themselves. They needed, a husband was security and children, sons, specifically. Daughters were not security, sons were security.

Sharon (08:52):

Sons were security.

Nicole (08:52):

And she’d lost everything

Sharon (08:55):

She had. Yeah.

Nicole (08:56):

So.

Sharon (08:56):

Yikes. All right. Well we’re gonna pick up the story in Ruth 1:16. This is where one of the two daughters-in-law (Nicole: Yes) says, I wanna go with you back to Israel, which is what Naomi decides to do. And even though Naomi’s like, no, no, no. Why would you go back with me? I’m gonna starve to death.

Nicole (09:15):

Right. I have no more sons for you.

Sharon (09:17):

Yeah. Exactly. So, why don’t you start with verse 16 and let’s read back and forth.

Nicole (09:21):

Yes. So, well, her other daughter-in-law did actually end up going back to her foreign land. She said, girls go home to your families. I have nothing for you. No more sons. One of them did leave and now she’s talking with Ruth. I forgot that part.

Sharon (09:34):

That’s quite alright. It’s a big story.

Nicole (09:36):

So picking up—it’s a big story. “So Ruth replied, don’t ask me to leave you and turn back wherever you go. I will go wherever you live. I will live. Your people will be my people and your God will be my God.”

Sharon (09:48):

“Wherever you die, I will die. And there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us.”

Nicole (09:57):

“When Naomi saw that Ruth was determined to go with her, she said nothing more.”

Sharon (10:02):

“So the two of them continued on their journey. When they came to Bethlehem, the entire town was excited by their arrival. Is it really Naomi, the women asked?”

Nicole (10:11):

“Don’t call me Naomi, she responded. Instead, call me Mara, for the Almighty has made life very bitter for me.”

Sharon (10:17):

“I went away full, but the Lord has brought me home empty. Why call me Naomi when the Lord has caused me to suffer and the Almighty has sent such tragedy upon me.”

Nicole (10:28):

“So Naomi returned from Moab, accompanied by her daughter-in-law, Ruth, the young Moabite woman.” (Woman) “They arrived in Bethlehem in late spring in the beginning of the barley harvest.”

Sharon (10:39):

Okay. Chapter two, Ruth works in Boaz’s field. Verse one. “Now there was a wealthy, an influential man in Bethlehem named Boaz, who was a relative of Naomi’s husband, Elimelek.”

Nicole (10:50):

“One day, Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, let me go out into the harvest fields to pick up the stalks of grain left behind by anyone who is kind enough to let me do it. Naomi replied, all right, my daughter, go ahead.”

Sharon (11:02):

“So Ruth went out to gather grain behind the harvesters and as it happened, she found herself working in a field that belonged to Boaz, the relative of her father-in-law Elimelech.”

Nicole (11:12):

“While she was there, Boaz arrived from Bethlehem and greeted the harvesters. The Lord be with you, he said. The Lord bless you. The harvesters replied.”

Sharon (11:20):

“Then Boaz asked his foreman, who is that young woman over there? Who does she belong to?”

Nicole (11:25):

“And the foreman replied, she’s the young woman from Moab who came back with Naomi.”

Sharon (11:29):

“She asked me this morning if she could gather grain behind the harvesters. She has been hard at work ever since, except for a few minutes rest in the shelter.”

Nicole (11:38):

“Boaz went over and said to Ruth, listen my daughter, stay right here with us when you gather grain, don’t go to any other fields. Stay right behind the young women working in my field.”

Sharon (11:47):

“See which part of the field they are harvesting, and then follow them. I have warned the young men not to treat you roughly. And when you are thirsty, help yourself to the water they have drawn from the well.”

Nicole (11:58):

“Ruth fell at his feet and thanked him warmly. What have I done to deserve such kindness, she asked? I’m only a foreigner.”

Sharon (12:05):

“Yes, I know Boaz replied, but I also know about everything you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband. I have heard how you left your father and mother and your own land to live here among complete strangers.”

Nicole (12:18):

“May the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully for what you have done” Oh, what a beautiful thing to say to her at the end.

Sharon (12:28):

Wasn’t that, that was kind.

Nicole (12:29):

That was so kind.

Sharon (12:30):

I mean, everybody’s kind here. It’s amazing.

Nicole (12:34):

Yeah. He might not have known where she stood with God Almighty, you know, and to just offer her that comfort cause she was a foreigner.

Sharon (12:39):

And the wings of refuge. I so love God’s, the image of God’s wings over us. It was super kind of him. So he was kind not only with his actions which was, well we’ll get to those in a minute. He was kind with his words.

Nicole (12:52):

Yes.

Sharon (12:53):

He was kind with his words. What were some of the actions he was kind with?

Nicole (12:57):

To seek her out to make sure she was okay.

Sharon (13:00):

Uh-huh.

Nicole (13:00):

And then to let her know like, hey, here’s the really good place to get some grain Oh. And get some water too. He didn’t just let her like, oh, this poor woman just, you know, picking up the straggles, whatever’s this riffraff on my field.

Sharon (13:11):

Uh-huh.

Nicole (13:11):

He sought her out to make sure she felt welcome and safe and taken care of.

Sharon (13:15):

And safe. That’s another kindness.

Nicole (13:17):

That was huge back then.

Sharon (13:18):

I spoke to the young men.

Nicole (13:19):

Yes.

Sharon (13:19):

And so basically they touch you, they’re in trouble.

Nicole (13:22):

Right.

Sharon (13:23):

Yeah.

Nicole (13:23):

Oh, to have that, what a comfort that must have been for her.

Sharon (13:25):

What a protection. Yeah. Because she’s really very vulnerable out there.

Nicole (13:29):

Mm-hmm.

Sharon (13:29):

She really is.

Nicole (13:30):

She’s a foreigner. She has no one to speak up for her, no one to protect her. (Sharon: Right) And she’s a woman back then. (Right) She had very little allies on her side.

Sharon (13:37):

She did.

Nicole (13:37):

So for the master of the field to come and seek her out and assure her that he had, that she had his protection.

Sharon (13:41):

So nice.

Nicole (13:42):

My goodness. That must’ve meant the world to her.

Sharon (13:44):

It was wonderful. And before Boaz is kind, we have Ruth’s kindness to Naomi. (Nicole: Yeah) Oh my goodness. May the Lord deal with me ever so severely if I don’t do this.

Nicole (13:54):

Oh wow.

Sharon (13:55):

She’s like, I’ve already made a promise. Don’t you make me go back on it cause I’ve told God to basically beat me up if I don’t do what I say.

Nicole (14:02):

Yeah.

Sharon (14:03):

She was determined to go with her mother-in-law.

Nicole (14:05):

She was, and then to offer to go, let me go out and get some food for us. Like let me take care of you.

Sharon (14:10):

Yeah. Let me humble myself and basically be a pauper and hope people drop grain so we can pick it up so we don’t starve to death.

Nicole (14:18):

Right. And make a, she would be very obvious being a foreigner then, again. (Sharon: Yeah) Kind of allowing herself to be open to ridicule or criticism.

Sharon (14:25):

Absolutely.

Nicole (14:26):

Very brave.

Sharon (14:27):

Yeah. So, oh, I love the kindness of Ruth and Boaz. And I kind of believe that Naomi must have been kind for Ruth to get to know her God. You know, it doesn’t—

Nicole (14:37):

That’s true.

Sharon (14:38):

When we meet Naomi, she’s, she’s not unkind, but she’s pretty much a mess.

Nicole (14:42):

She’s struggling with some bitterness there. She calls herself bitter.

Sharon (14:44):

Right. Right. She’s pretty much defined how she’s feeling.

Nicole (14:47):

Right.

Sharon (14:48):

But there must have been a time, cause Ruth says, your God is my God. Where through Naomi and Elimeleh and the, the two sons. (Nicole: Mm-hmm) where Ruth came to trust the God of Israel.

Nicole (14:59):

Right.

Sharon (15:00):

Yeah. And still trusted him even though everything had fallen apart for them. Isn’t that fascinating?

Nicole (15:05):

Oh, she did watch all that too. Right.

Sharon (15:06):

Yeah. She never had kids. Her husband dies, her father-in-law dies and she’s still trusting the God of Israel. So,

Nicole (15:12):

Hmmm. So there must have been some kindness there before.

Sharon (15:14):

Wowzers. I think so. I do. So All right. So yay Ruth. Yay Boaz. Now let’s look at some examples from the New Testament. There are so many to choose between, cause Jesus was so kind, so often. Like children. He was kind to children, told the disciples, don’t push them away.

Nicole (15:31):

I know.

Sharon (15:32):

He took time.

Nicole (15:33):

He did.

Sharon (15:33):

That was patience too.

Nicole (15:34):

Yes.

Sharon (15:34):

To be kind to children.

Nicole (15:36):

I love that one. And he was kind to the grieving widow of Nain who only had the one son who had died.

Sharon (15:42):

Oh, that’s right.

Nicole (15:43):

I love that story.

Sharon (15:44):

I love that story too. And then to lepers, he was kind, not only did he heal ’em, he touched them.

Nicole (15:50):

Yeah. That was huge.

Sharon (15:51):

They hadn’t been touched in, I don’t know how long, but Jesus touched them. We see his kindness over and over again. The way he stops things to talk to people the way you know, who was it? Blind Bartimaeus shouting and causing a scene. And everybody’s like, be quiet and Jesus stops and goes, come here.

Nicole (16:08):

Wow.

Sharon (16:09):

He’s just so kind.

Nicole (16:10):

He is. Oh, so so kind.

Sharon (16:10):

I love it. Yeah.

Nicole (16:12):

There’s also a wonderful story in Acts about a kind woman. We’re going to close out this part of the podcast with her story. So we’re reading from Acts nine, starting at verse 36. “There was a believer in Joppa named Tabitha, which in Greek is Dorcus. She was always doing kind things for others and helping the poor.”

Sharon (16:29):

“About this time she became ill and died. Her body was washed for burial and laid in an upstairs room.”

Nicole (16:36):

“But the believers had heard that Peter was nearby at Lydda. So they sent two men to beg him, Please come as soon as possible.”

Sharon (16:45):

“So Peter returned with them and as soon as he arrived, they took him to the upstairs room. The room was filled with widows who were weeping and showing him the coats and other clothes Dorcas had made for them.”

Nicole (16:57):

“But Peter asked them all to leave the room. Then he knelt and prayed. Turning to the body he said, Get up Tabitha. And she opened her eyes, when she saw Peter, she sat up.”

Sharon (17:07):

“He gave her his hand and helped her up. Then he called in the widows and all the believers and he presented her to them alive.”

Nicole (17:15):

“The news spread through the whole town and many believed in the Lord.”

Sharon (17:18):

“And Peter stayed a long time in Joppa, living with Simon, a tanner of hides.” (Wow!)

Nicole (17:24):

I’d forgotten about this story.

Sharon (17:26):

Isn’t this the sweetest story?

Nicole (17:28):

It really is.

Sharon (17:28):

Dorcas, Tabitha.

Nicole (17:29):

Yes.

Sharon (17:29):

It’s so weird. She has two names.

Nicole (17:31):

I know.

Sharon (17:33):

But she does. But what a sweet woman she must have been.

Nicole (17:37):

Yeah. For them to all be— And the fact that the first thing they did when he came in, look what she’s done for us. They were devastated at the loss of somebody so kind.

Sharon (17:45):

So kind. And they were widows.

Nicole (17:46):

Someone to help.

Sharon (17:46):

So again, we just talked about Ruth the widow. (Nicole: Oh right) They were dependent on the church at this point to take care of them. And Dorcas has saw them and made them clothes.

Nicole (17:55):

That’s so sweet.

Sharon (17:56):

Don’t you love the behind the scenes people?

Nicole (17:58):

Yes.

Sharon (17:59):

Honestly, there’s so many. Jesus says in heaven, the first will be last and the last will be first. (Nicole: Yeah) Little old Tabitha who just sewed clothing, right. And never preached a sermon in her life. (Right) Or raised anybody from the dead herself. (Right) She’s gonna be first. I just think she is because she saw people. (Yes) And she went out of her way to be kind.

Nicole (18:19):

She saw the needs and she fixed them. She helped them.

Sharon (18:23):

Yes. Yes.

Nicole (18:23):

In practical ways too. So, oh, Dorcus, Tabitha, Tabitha, Dorcus. You’re so kind. I’ll wave you from the back of the line because,

Sharon (18:31):

Exactly. There she is.

Nicole (18:33):

You’re so nice. Yes.

Sharon (18:35):

So precious. Oh, and they wept for her. So she had to do more than just do clothing. She must have brought love with it.

Nicole (18:42):

Oh for sure.

Sharon (18:42):

Yeah.

Nicole (18:43):

Oh.

Sharon (18:43):

It makes me think of that first line of 1 Corinthians 13. You know, when it starts just defining love.

Nicole (18:49):

Yeah.

Sharon (18:50):

Love is patient, love is kind.

Nicole (18:51):

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Sharon (18:52):

That’s the first two things that define love.

Nicole (18:54):

I know. And then to see the kindness of Jesus again. To give her back to them for a time.

Sharon (18:58):

Yes.

Nicole (18:59):

Wow.

Sharon (19:00):

Yes. Yes.

Nicole (19:01):

I mean that’s just really neat, like God sees so much, he sees all those people and he knew that those widows needed her a little bit longer.

Sharon (19:07):

Yep. Yep. Just like the widow of Nain needed her one son to support her.

Nicole (19:11):

Yes. Alive a little bit longer

Sharon (19:12):

Boy, there’s been a lot of widows in this, our examples. I didn’t even realize it when I was setting them up, but you know, James says, true religion is taking care of widows and orphans.

Nicole (19:21):

Yeah.

Sharon (19:21):

Basically, let’s be kind to the ones that can’t demand it because they’re on the outs.

Nicole (19:27):

Yeah. Yep.

Sharon (19:27):

Let’s show kindness to the least ones.

Nicole (19:29):

Oh yeah.

Sharon (19:30):

Who are the most ones. (Nicole: Mm-hmm) Because they’re so precious in God’s sight.

Nicole (19:33):

Absolutely.

Sharon (19:33):

I love it. Okay. Well now it’s our turn, Nicole.

Nicole (19:36):

Yeah.

Sharon (19:37):

Let’s look at our four categories and talk about how we can practice/exercise kindness towards God, family, Christians and non-Christians. So, God, here we go. How are we kind to God? How do we, how do we work this one?

Nicole (19:51):

Yeah.

Sharon (19:51):

What are your thoughts?

Nicole (19:53):

Kindness to God. I’m really bad at remembering to thank him for things when he does things for me.

Sharon (19:58):

Oh, there you go.

Nicole (19:59):

You know, going back and remembering like, we’ll pray. Oh this, we need this to work out. And then it does. It’s like, yes. Awesome.

Sharon (20:04):

We move on.

Nicole (20:04):

And we, I go on my merry way. Yes. And I live in that blessing he’s given me. And I’m like, oh, I never thanked you for this. God, thank you for your kindness. Thank you. I think being mindful and remembering what God has done for me, I’m not very kind to God.

Sharon (20:18):

I think that’s a great way to do it. Yeah. (Nicole: Mm-hmm) Yeah. And seeing the thing he wants most is our company. (Right) Being with him. (Yeah) Telling him we love him. That’s another kindness.

Nicole (20:27):

I know. He’s so sweet. He doesn’t demand much.

Sharon (20:29):

No.

Nicole (20:30):

He doesn’t ask for much.

Sharon (20:31):

No. It’s so amazing. And then Jesus gives us a, a sort of an interesting way to be kind to him. Mm-hmm. When um, he’s separating sheep from the goats. (Nicole: Yeah) You know, at the end of the age. (Yeah) And he says, I was thirsty and you, you gave me something to drink. I was hungry and you gave me food. I was in prison and you visited me. What you did for others you did for me.(Yeah) So literally being kind to God is being kind to those in need. (Mm-hmm) He receives it as if we did it to him. (Mm-hmm) Isn’t that amazing?

Nicole (21:02):

That is really cool. That’s a good thing to remember.

Sharon (21:05):

Wowzers. Yeah. Yeah.

Nicole (21:07):

Am I helping Jesus?

Sharon (21:08):

Just even bringing a cup of water to someone.

Nicole (21:10):

Yeah.

Sharon (21:10):

You know, he receives it as done to him as well.

Nicole (21:13):

Oh. I remember hearing a song as a teenager about that. Like seeing Jesus, it was kind of a, it was a shocking song, too. Like I see Jesus underneath the overpass, you know, with stained teeth looking for money. And I’m like, what? And I was like, oh, oh, the least of these.

Sharon (21:27):

Yeah. And when you did it for them,

Nicole (21:29):

Right.

Sharon (21:29):

You did it for me. We need to see Jesus in them and go, this is an opportunity to be kind to Jesus.

Nicole (21:33):

Yes.

Sharon (21:34):

By, you know, helping the widows and the orphans. And the others.

Nicole (21:36):

And the homeless person.

Sharon (21:37):

Yeah. So beautiful.

Nicole (21:39):

Oh.

Sharon (21:40):

Yeah. And I just had to read this one verse about God’s kindness to us, cause it’s one of my favorites, before we move on. It’s Titus 3:4-5. “When God, our Savior revealed his kindness and love, he saved us, not because of the righteous things we’d done, but because of his mercy.” So man was God kind to us and we sure don’t do enough righteous things to earn that death. Right?

Nicole (22:02):

Know what, we don’t.

Sharon (22:03):

So, but he was kind. So Yes. And I love your thank you’s. I think that’s a great way to be kind to God, so I love it. So family kindnesses.

Nicole (22:12):

Yeah.

Sharon (22:13):

I have a very recent one.

Nicole (22:14):

Oh, good. Share.

Sharon (22:15):

So I’ll tell you my story of a Ray kindness to me. (Nicole: Oh) When we were first married, I wanted, you know, birthdays to be special. (Yes) And Ray was not great at birthdays being special at all. You know, he would give me things in paper bags and his first present to me were muffin tins. And I’m like, in a paper bag. I’m like, wow. Muffin tins. He said, (That’s great!) he said, you told me you wanted to make me muffins.

Nicole (22:42):

Oh my goodness.

Sharon (22:43):

Oh, oh, oh. It was not pretty.

Nicole (22:46):

That one should go in a book too. That’s, that’s really,

Sharon (22:49):

Wow. So you bought me a present, so I’d make you muffins and you didn’t even wrap it.

Nicole (22:53):

Right. On my birthday!

Sharon (22:54):

I can’t even. So I, you know, did all the things wrong.

Nicole (22:59):

Yes. Oh yes.

Sharon (22:59):

You know, and wept, was terrible, didn’t make it any better at all. But, one of the next years I finally got smart and wrote him a list and I said, number one, presents must be wrapped. You may use tin foil, but they need to be wrapped. Number two, there needs to be a card with mushy words. Some of those mushy words need to be your own. Number three, there needs to be a cake and candles. You do not have to make it. (Nicole: Yes) Buy it. But I need candles. (Yes) And I’d like flowers. (Oh) So he had his list.

Nicole (23:28):

Yes.

Sharon (23:29):

But he kind of was hung up on the flowers part because what a waste of money.

Nicole (23:32):

Yeah.

Sharon (23:33):

You know, they last three or four days and they’re dead.

Nicole (23:35):

Right.

Sharon (23:35):

So he had this great plan. He bought me some silk roses and he figured that was it for the rest of our married life.

Nicole (23:43):

You’re good for life. They’re not gonna die.

Sharon (23:45):

And he meant it. And I’m like,

Nicole (23:47):

Logical then.

Sharon (23:48):

Okay. That’s, you know, thank you for all the other wonderful things you’ve done. Cause from then on out, he knew his list. And when the girls were older Nicole, he’d go, okay, troops, time for mother’s birthday. Who’s making the cake? Who’s, you know, you know,

Nicole (24:02):

You get number two out everybody, and go, go!

Sharon (24:04):

Who’s gonna wrap the presents? Let’s do it. You know, because he knew what to do.

Nicole (24:06):

Yes.

Sharon (24:07):

All I had to do was tell the man what to do.

Nicole (24:08):

I know.

Sharon (24:09):

He’s so sweet. I love it.

Nicole (24:09):

What a novel concept, to express what we want clearly to our husbands.

Sharon (24:13):

What a novel concept. Right.

Nicole (24:13):

Huh! What a thought.

Sharon (24:15):

Yeah. Well it’s worked out much better for me than the ‘he should know’ approach does.

Nicole (24:19):

I know. It doesn’t work. Spoiler.

Sharon (24:20):

Just sayin’, tell him. So, anyway, so I had to explain gently to him that the silk flowers are beautiful. I still have them.

Nicole (24:26):

Yes.

Sharon (24:26):

But I’d like real ones. So anyways, this year I got it all because we’ve been married 43 years, including the beautiful, beautiful flowers.

Nicole (24:36):

Oh, that’s so nice.

Sharon (24:37):

Because for Sharon, even though it makes no sense to Raymond why I would want something that dies; that costs way too much money in his humble opinion.

Nicole (24:45):

Right.

Sharon (24:46):

But I want it. (NIcole: Mm-hmm) And because he’s kind, not because he thinks it’s a great idea (Right) Ray Gamble buys me flowers. Not everybody would want them, but (Right) I actually really do. My birthday’s in February,

Nicole (24:57):

But Sharon on her birthday would like fresh flowers, please. And thank you.

Sharon (24:59):

Yes. And thank you. Thank you. Yeah. So there you go.

Nicole (25:01):

Oh, I love that.

Sharon (25:02):

That’s my example of kindness.

Nicole (25:03):

That’s really good.

Sharon (25:05):

Yay Ray.

Nicole (25:05):

Well, and that’s, I think that’s key though. It’s, kindness in our family is thinking through the days ahead of our loved ones, you know, and like, okay, how can I make it easier? How can I brighten your day in little ways?

Sharon (25:16):

Yes. Yes.

Nicole (25:16):

You know, for my kiddos. Okay. She’s going to stumble and be stressed out making her lunch. So I’ll make this kiddo’s lunch. This kiddo wants to make her own lunch. Do not touch her lunch. She’s very particular.

Sharon (25:25):

Uhhuh.

Nicole (25:25):

Wonderful. But I stick a little note in there as a kindness, you know?

Sharon (25:28):

Oh yeah.

Nicole (25:29):

And then, you know, for your spouse too. It is the ‘how do you feel love’. Not how do I want to love you?

Sharon (25:35):

Oh, that’s so important.

Nicole (25:36):

And oh, that’s tough because how I want, how I feel loved feels like a great way to love my spouse. (Sharon: Uhhuh) He doesn’t receive that love. Just like for Ray, buying flowers for you doesn’t make him feel love. Like it makes no sense (Uhhuh) but he loves you with kindness because (Yes) that’s how you feel love.

Sharon (25:51):

Exactly so.

Nicole (25:52):

So being aware of our family and our spouses particularly, I think, and knowing how they feel loved and showing them kindnesses in that way.

Sharon (26:00):

It’s so important.

Nicole (26:00):

Josh’s is quality time. He just wants me to sit with him even if we’re not engaged in deep conversations, staring into each other’s eyes side by side as he’s playing his tractor game. (Sharon: Yep) And then he talks to me.

Sharon (26:09):

That is such a man thing. Shoulder to shoulder time is so important.

Nicole (26:11):

Yeah. And I’m sitting there going, I have so much to do. Is this enough quality time yet? Can I knit while we quality time? And just, but being with him and I should be so honored that he wants to spend time with me.

Sharon (26:22):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that is, yeah. Kindness is putting someone else’s interest ahead of our own.

Nicole (26:27):

Yep. And it’s never a big thing, just sitting. Well, for me it feels like a huge thing to sit still, but yeah, it’s really not that huge.

Sharon (26:32):

It’s not that huge. Yep.

Nicole (26:33):

We can do this.

Sharon (26:33):

One of Ray’s favorite things that I do for him on weekends is bring coffee to the bedroom. (Nicole: Oh) Because he has a hard time waking up. (Yes) So I’ll wake him up and say, I’ve got your coffee right here. (Oh) So then he can take a few sips of caffeine before he gets out of bed. (Yes) It takes me no time to do that. And it’s his top favorite things that I do. It’s on his top favorites.

Nicole (26:51):

Josh used to make me a breakfast sandwich all the time because he knows in the morning I don’t,

Sharon (26:55):

You’re the one that’s not the morning person.

Nicole (26:56):

I’m not a morning person and I’m always getting the kids, he’s like, you won’t eat if I don’t cook food for you. So he makes me food.

Sharon (27:01):

Aww. See kindness.

Nicole (27:02):

So sweet. So kind. Little things.

Sharon (27:03):

Oh boy. It’s so nice.—- Okay. Well, Christians in church. Yes. How are we kind in church? What are some ways there?

Nicole (27:12):

I think being friendly and accepting of anyone that can walk in through the door that isn’t dressed in their Sunday best.

Sharon (27:20):

Yes.

Nicole (27:20):

Not being startled, but being willing to greet people wherever they’re at like, oh, hello and welcome, who might act or look differently than us. (Sharon: Yep) or the other Christians in the church being kind to them if they don’t have the same interests as us, or if they come up very close to our face and tell us a big loud story when you’re like, oh, hello, it’s good to see you. (Yes) Being kind to them.

Sharon (27:39):

I prefer a foot between us, not two inches. Right.

Nicole (27:43):

Personal bubble. My little brother is very good at being super close to people.

Sharon (27:47):

And you’re like, wow.

Nicole (27:48):

Oh hello my love. He does and that’s great. But being kind to people who are so different from us because someone is being kind to me at church too, because (Sharon: Oh my goodness) I’m going to be odd to them.

Sharon (27:58):

Exactly so. We are not exempt from oddness. We might think we are, but we are not.

Nicole (28:02):

Nope. So being kind with each other’s quirky behaviors.

Sharon (28:06):

For a long time we had a lady in our church who had dementia and she would constantly mistake Ray for her husband.

Nicole (28:13):

Oh no.

Sharon (28:14):

So, you know, she’d get separated from her husband cause she wandered and she’d sit down beside him and say hello to him.

Nicole (28:20):

Oh my goodness.

Sharon (28:21):

And then the husband meanwhile would be looking for her. (Nicole: Right) So I would go find him and Ray would be kind to her until the husband would take her to the real husband.

Nicole (28:30):

Right. Darling. Hi.

Sharon (28:34):

Bless her heart.

Nicole (28:36):

That’s so precious.

Sharon (28:37):

Oh my goodness but she still attended church and she was always so nice.

Nicole (28:39):

Yeah.

Sharon (28:39):

But she just got confused.

Nicole (28:41):

She just swapped her husbands over a few times.

Sharon (28:42):

That’s right.

Nicole (28:44):

But what a great way to be kind though.

Sharon (28:45):

Ray was so kind to her, Nicole.

Nicole (28:47):

Yeah. And he could have been very uncomfortable.

Sharon (28:49):

He could have said, Hey, I am not your husband. (Nicole: Yeah) But she wouldn’t have understood at all. (No, no). So there’s an example. I’m just giving Ray all kinds of kudos here.

Nicole (28:56):

Nice job Ray. Ray is a kind man.

Sharon (28:58):

Go Raymond. Yeah. So last category, being kind to people that don’t know the Lord. Being kind to strangers.

Nicole (29:04):

Yes.

Sharon (29:06):

So that’s where you’re nice in line and you let people cut ahead of you. You open doors for people. Right.

Nicole (29:11):

Yeah.

Sharon (29:12):

What’s some other ways to be kind to strangers?

Nicole (29:14):

I feel like this is where we could really shine as Christians to the world. (Sharon: Yeah, yeah) Like this is the opportunity. We don’t always have opportunity to share our faith in great long dissertations or for, for them to see how we live. When you’re standing behind someone in a grocery store, being kind, being patient, letting them go ahead of you, like you said. (Yep) Oh, one day I was kind to somebody, this boy came up and he was fumbling for money and he didn’t have enough and he was a teenager and I paid for his and I just, I was like, oh, I can be kind to you. (Yay) He’s like, he kept thanking me. I’m like, oh, it’s fine. It was like a $1.50 for his little sandwich. (Yeah) But he was like, thank you, thank you. It’s those little things we have to be watching for them.

Sharon (29:49):

We have to watch for kindness opportunities.

Nicole (29:50):

Because it’s so much easier to be like, all right buddy, just pay for this and move on. My kids are waiting in the car.

Sharon (29:54):

Right.

Nicole (29:55):

Like, just stop. But instead taking the time to be kind instead of grumpy. (Sharon: Yeah) I don’t always do that. That was a God moment.

Sharon (30:01):

But cash register moments are huge. (Nicole: Yeah) Thanking the clerk. Thanking the bagger. (Yes) You know, if something goes wrong, say that’s okay.

Nicole (30:08):

When they’re all flustered and people are yelling at them cause they’re just— Like, oh, I’m sorry, you look like you’re having a rough day today.

Sharon (30:13):

Yes.

Nicole (30:14):

A small kindness. It won’t slow her down. She’s still doing the things well. Right, right. Just talking with them and letting them feel like they’ve been seen.

Sharon (30:20):

So important.

Nicole (30:20):

Yeah.

Sharon (30:20):

Oh Lord. Make us kind.

Nicole (30:22):

I know.

Sharon (30:22):

Let us pray. We’ll ask for it. Lord, I do ask that you would help us to be kind. Holy Spirit, thank you that you build that fruit in us. Give us opportunities this week to be kind. Help us to notice where kindness is needed. Help us to be selfless when you ask us to be. And sprinkle kindness all over the place, Lord. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Nicole (30:48):

Amen. Thank you for joining us this episode. If you would like to extend some kindness to us, we would love to hear from you. Write us at Sweetselah.org/podcast or donate at Sweetselah.org/donate. A review of this podcast on your favorite platform would be super kind. We’d love for more people to learn about the Sweet Selah Moments Podcast. And do join us next week for episode 1 0 3, The Uniqueness of Goodness. Now there’s an intriguing title. Thanks so much for listening today. We appreciate your kindness.

Speaker 1 (31:23):

We are so glad you stopped for a while with us. The Sweet Selah Moments Podcast is a cooperative production of Word Radio and Sweet Selah Ministries. More information about this podcast can be found@sweetselah.org. Thank you for joining us.