Episode 101 – Practicing Patience

Speaker 1 (00:01):

Welcome to a podcast designed to bring biblical encouragement to your weary soul. We are so glad you’re listening and we pray God blesses you and strengthens you in your walk with him. The Sweet Selah Moments Podcast is brought to you by the cooperative efforts of Sweet Selah Ministries and Word Radio. Sit back and enjoy.

Nicole (00:29):

Welcome to the Sweet Selah Moments Podcast. This is episode 101, Practicing Patience. I am not sure I even wanna talk about this one, Sharon. You know how they say, don’t pray for patience or God will give you plenty of opportunities to practice it. Well, when my friend Jenny and I used to do Moms in Prayer together when we were homeschooling, we would joke and say, let’s pray for endurance instead of patience, because that one’s a little easier.

Sharon (00:52):

Oh, that’s so funny.

Nicole (00:54):

Because patience is hard.

Sharon (00:56):

It is hard. I totally agree. And I am not naturally a patient person. I tend to move quickly, think quickly, and it’s really hard to slow myself down sometimes. (Nicole: Mm-hmm) So here are my confessions, the situations where I have realized frequently that I’m not yet perfected in patience. Number one, when I try to make a simple phone call to a major corporation, and I get bounced around the system pushing buttons.

Nicole (01:23):

Oh, it is annoying.

Sharon (01:24):

Oh, man. And every, like, they give you three options. None of the options are the options I need.

Nicole (01:30):

No.

Sharon (01:30):

So then I start saying, Operator, Operator.

Nicole (01:33):

Yes. Person.

Sharon (01:33):

And sometimes the operator comes and sometimes I have to keep going through the buttons. (Nicole: Yeah) And then when I finally do get a person, I have to remember that it is not personally their fault (Nicole: Yes) that I spent 15 minutes pushing the buttons incorrectly. (Right) And be nice to them. So that’s number one. Number two, when I’m in a hurry and the traffic is slow. And usually I’m in a hurry because I waited too long to go someplace. (Yes) Yeah. So I’m irritated at all these cars who have done nothing to hurt me, and it’s really my own fault. So, and then the third one, I get so irritated when I cannot open a pill jar or a jam lid.

Nicole (02:11):

Oh, yes. It’s so annoying.

Sharon (02:12):

It’s like, I am a grownup. How can I not open the jar?

Nicole (02:14):

Where are my muscles?

Sharon (02:16):

How about you? Where are you, um, where do you struggle in this area of patience?

Nicole (02:21):

Well, now I’m cringing a little bit because on top of my, at least three that I wrote, I’m also empathizing with the three you mentioned. So, Oh my goodness, right now, my six year old has, is in the process of mastering the art of tying her shoe. In great details she shows me and tells me in super slow motion as we’re running out the door, always just a wee bit behind, how to tie her shoe. And I’m like, can I do it? Can I just do it for you? We gotta go That’s hard.

Sharon (02:48):

Yes.

Nicole (02:48):

Also, traffic gets me too. Uh, we live on a dirt road, and every once in a while, someone who’s never been on a dirt road will be in front of me going 10 miles an hour and going around every little bump like it’s gonna destroy their car. And I’m like, okay. That’s not fun. And then waiting in line is the worst. Oh. It drives me crazy. I hate standing and waiting.

Sharon (03:10):

It feels like a waste of time.

Nicole (03:10):

It does. I’m wasting time. I could be doing all these things. And I think that’s why I don’t, I don’t think I would enjoy Disneyland. I could not wait for three hours for a ride. It’d have to be (Sharon: It would not be worth it) the ride of my life. And it’d have to give me like a gold bracelet at the end for it to be worth three hours of my life. (Sharon: Mm-hmm) So clearly I could use a good dose of, oh, I hate to say it, but patience.

Sharon (03:30):

Patience. Yep. Exactly. And I’m bonding with you over yours as well. Absolutely. To get to the point where we receive what is.

Nicole (03:37):

Yes.

Sharon (03:38):

Because that’s really what patience is, receiving what is, without kicking against the goads. As the Bible says. I’m awfully glad it’s a fruit of the Spirit, because only God can help us get better at this. (Nicole: Yeah)And we need to ask him. We do. We need to ask him, Jesus, help me be a patient person. Impatience leads to anger and bad decision making and spilled coffee grounds. I remember the day that I was in a hurry, and I don’t know, the coffee wasn’t doing what I wanted. And, and because of my impatience, I spilled coffee grounds. They’re really tiny, you know? (Yes) Everywhere. And so then I just wasted more time. (Right) Because my impatience had caused the trouble. So.

Nicole (04:18):

It very often works in our, it doesn’t very often work in our favor to be impatient.

Sharon (04:22):

No, it does not.

Nicole (04:23):

Hardly ever.

Sharon (04:23):

It does not. One of the most patient people I’ve ever known was Ray’s father. (Nicole: Oh) Dad Gamble. (Yeah) Oh my goodness. I think it’s partially because he had polio as a child. He spent his kindergarten year in bed.

Nicole (04:34):

Oh my goodness.

Sharon (04:36):

And they had to massage his leg every day. It really affected his leg (Nicole: Right) particularly, and you know, it was a busy family. There were seven kids. (Oh my word) So he spent a lot of time alone. (Yeah) And nobody could be with him all the time. (Hmm) And I think he learned early on, I have to wait.

Nicole (04:52):

Yeah.

Sharon (04:53):

So he would say to me, I don’t know why people are in such a hurry, honey.

Nicole (04:56):

Oh.

Sharon (04:57):

I don’t know why people are in such a hurry, if they’d just slow down life would go better for them. And sure enough—

Nicole (05:02):

He’s not wrong.

Sharon (05:03):

He was right.

Nicole (05:03):

Yeah.

Sharon (05:04):

Yeah. The Amish have a saying, ‘the hurrier I go, the behinder I get’.

Nicole (05:09):

Oh gosh. I need to sew that into a pillow.

Sharon (05:11):

That is—

Nicole (05:12):

I need to sew it slowly onto a pillow so it goes into my brain.

Sharon (05:15):

Yes. Sew it slowly. The hurrier I go, the behinder I get. Sometimes the most important thing we can do is slow down.

Nicole (05:23):

That’s so true. (Sharon: Right) I know my grandmother was a very patient woman as well. She taught me how to knit and sew and garden. And she just never seemed to be in a hurry. She’d sit with me and take out my little row of messed up stitches and show me again, I was little and I wanted to learn all this. She was so patient with me. (Sharon: Uhhuh, uhhuh). And I love that. I want that.

Sharon (05:41):

I want that too. People talk to you more if they don’t think you’re looking at your watch and in a hurry too.

Nicole (05:47):

Right.

Sharon (05:47):

You know, some of the deeper conversations you have with your kids and I have with Ray, (Nicole: Sure) come because we are quiet.

Nicole (05:53):

Yeah. We’re not rushing.

Sharon (05:55):

Yeah.

Nicole (05:55):

Well, they feel like there’s space and that they’re important and we want to hear them if we’re not, oh, I gotta go to my next thing on my list. See you later.

Sharon (06:00):

You got five minutes, spill your guts quickly. (Nicole: Right) Right. That doesn’t work very well. (Gosh) So.

Nicole (06:07):

Well, Sharon, let’s look at what the Bible has to say about patience next then.

Sharon (06:11):

Good girl, Nicole.

Nicole (06:11):

There’s some amazing examples of patience in there. And the most famous example, of course, was Job. We even have that expression that someone ‘has the patience of Job’ in our English language. Job endured so, so much, and yet held onto his faith and endured it. So let me read just a short passage to give the heart of it. So Job 1:8-22, “Then the Lord asked Satan, have you noticed my servant Job? He’s the finest man in all of the Earth. He’s blameless; a man of complete integrity. He fears God and stays away from evil. Satan replied to the Lord, Yes, but Job has good reasons to fear God. You have always put a wall of protection around him and his home and his property. You have made him prosper in everything he does. Look how rich he is. But reach out and take away everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face. All right. You may test him, the Lord said to Satan, do whatever you want with everything he possesses, but don’t harm him physically. So Satan left the Lord’s presence. One day when Job’s sons and daughters were feasting at the oldest brother’s house, a messenger arrived at Job’s house with this news, your oxen were plowing and the donkeys feeding beside them when the Sabeans raided us, they killed all the animals and killed all the farmhands. I am the only one who escaped to tell you. While he was still speaking another messenger arrived with this news. The fire of God has fallen from heaven and burned up your sheep and all the shepherds. I am the only one who has escaped to tell you. While he was still speaking a third messenger arrived with this news. Three bands of Chaldean raiders have stolen your camels and killed your servants. I am the only one who escaped to tell you. While he was still speaking, another messenger arrived with this news. Your sons and daughters were feasting in their oldest brother’s home. Suddenly a powerful wind swept in from the wilderness and hit the house on all sides. The house collapsed and all your children are dead. I am the only one who escaped to tell you. Job stood up and tore his robe in grief. Then he shaved his head and fell to the ground to worship. He said, I came naked from my mother’s womb and I’ll be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord. In all of this Job did not sin by blaming God.”

Sharon (08:32):

I, every time that is read, doesn’t matter how many times I read it, I’m like, what? How?

Nicole (08:37):

Yes. Wow.

Sharon (08:38):

How? You know, sometimes you do have a Job period of time. But I don’t think anybody, goodness.

Nicole (08:44):

To this extent.

Sharon (08:45):

To this extent.

Nicole (08:46):

Oh, his children. I mean everything.

Sharon (08:48):

Yeah everything.

Nicole (08:48):

The man owned, in an instant before the first messenger could finish telling him the bad news.

Sharon (08:52):

The next one comes.

Nicole (08:53):

It’s just insane.

Sharon (08:54):

Yeah. Talk about bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Over and over again. And yet the key to this whole thing is Job’s response. I came naked from my mother’s womb, I will be naked when I leave. He did not cling to possessions or title or even family.

Nicole (09:10):

Oh, I know, so hard.

Sharon (09:11):

I know. That’s the one. It’s like, okay, take away my house

Nicole (09:14):

Take my sheep, take my camels. But not my babies.

Sharon (09:17):

Not my babies. Yeah.

Nicole (09:17):

Oh, so hard.

Sharon (09:18):

Although, if you take away all my possessions it hurts my babies. So that’s hard too. (Nicole: Yeah) But not the same as not having your babies. (Yeah) Yeah. So I feel like he just had this attitude, it’s one reason he was called blameless, (Right) that, you know, I’m God’s. (Yeah) And what matters is him. And whether I have a lot, or, it’s kind of like, you know what, Paul says in Philippians, I have learned in whatsoever state I am therein to be content. (Yeah) King James version. That’s the one I remember.

Nicole (09:43):

Therefore. Yeah.

Sharon (09:44):

You know, basically, you know, whether I have a lot or a little, my self-esteem, my feeling of worth comes only from being God’s.

Nicole (09:54):

Right. And in that way, it never will be shaken.

Sharon (09:57):

Right.

Nicole (09:57):

If we’ve learned to live with little, learned to live with a lot, we can go between either one as God deems appropriate.

Sharon (10:04):

Right.

Nicole (10:04):

Because he did give it to us. And he can take it away.

Sharon (10:06):

He can take it away.

Nicole (10:07):

And I think we need to remember that second part, you know?

Sharon (10:09):

We do.

Nicole (10:09):

And bless his name, blessed be the name the Lord when He does.

Sharon (10:12):

Oh, yeah.

Nicole (10:13):

That’s a tough one.

Sharon (10:15):

That is, that is. That’s faith under trial.

Nicole (10:17):

Absolutely.

Sharon (10:18):

That’s why Job got his whole book.

Nicole (10:19):

Right. That’s why he got a whole book but I don’t think Job was excited there.

Sharon (10:24):

No but it does make me remember that, you know, when I’m super happy in my comfy house. (Nicole: Yeah) And, I am. (Yeah) And I’m grateful. I think it’s fine to be grateful for my (Oh yeah) beautiful little ranch house that I love so much. I have to remember, but my security can’t be there.

Nicole (10:40):

Right.

Sharon (10:41):

And I love my Ray, but my security can’t be there.

Nicole (10:46):

Right.

Sharon (10:46):

There’s only one rock. And it’s Jesus.

Nicole (10:49):

Yeah.

Sharon (10:49):

And everything else could fall apart and fall away and God would still be good and God would still love me and I would still have a happy forever after in heaven.

Nicole (10:58):

Yes.

Sharon (10:58):

So that’s where the heart of it has to be. So, wow. But he was patient.

Nicole (11:03):

He was.

Sharon (11:04):

He endured it all and he, and he stayed the course with God.

Nicole (11:07):

He did. Right to the end.

Sharon (11:07):

He never cursed God.

Nicole (11:08):

No. Good job Job.

Sharon (11:09):

Yeah. So, okay. Okay. So another great example is Abraham. He was told to leave all he knows and follow God. So I’m gonna read Genesis 12:1-9, “The Lord had said to Abram, leave your native country, your relatives and your father’s family and go to the land that I will show you. I will make you into a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous. And you’ll be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on Earth will be blessed through you. So Abram departed as the Lord had instructed and Lot with him. Abram was 75 years old when he left Haran”. (NIcole: Spring chicken. Sharon: I know, makes me feel downright young at 65!) “He took his wife Sarai” (cause she wasn’t Sarah yet) “his nephew Lot and all his wealth, his livestock, and all the people he had taken into his household in Haran and headed for the land of Canaan. When they arrived in Canaan, Abram traveled through the land as far as Shechem. There, he set up camp beside the oak of Moreh. At that time, the area was inhabited by Canaanites. Then the Lord appeared to Abram and said, I will give this land to your descendants. And Abram built an altar there and dedicated it to the Lord who had appeared to him. After that, Abram traveled south and set up camp in the hill country with Bethel to the west and Ai to the east. There he built another altar and dedicated it to the Lord and he worshiped the Lord. Then Abram continued traveling south by stages toward the Negev.” Okay. So he’s lived all his life in one place til he’s seventy-five.

Nicole (12:42):

Yeah.

Sharon (12:42):

And God says, uh, go. First of all, you’re gonna have kids, you’re gonna have descendants and go where I send you. And then he wanders about.

Nicole (12:50):

Isn’t that wild?

Sharon (12:52):

And he patiently did what God said and just went and went and went and built altars all over the place.

Nicole (12:58):

I love that. Cause, Oh, I love this part where the Lord appeared to him and said, I will give this land to your descendants. Abraham built an altar there and dedicated it to the Lord. He didn’t go, kids! I’m seventy-five. Where are my kids?

Sharon (13:09):

Come on Lord.

Nicole (13:10):

Hold on. Am I missing something? And the fact that I feel like our, the American dream and kind of what we all aspire for is to like do these things in succession and steps. Like get the house, get the kids, have kids, you know, settle into a nice cozy house and then retire. Live off what you’ve accumulated for retirement wealth and just take it easy.

Sharon (13:27):

Right.

Nicole (13:27):

He, I, I’m assuming he’s kind of getting to that spot. He left a beautiful, cushy home.

Sharon (13:32):

He sure did.

Nicole (13:33):

God’s like—

Sharon (13:34):

He sure did. He lived in tents for the rest of his life.

Nicole (13:35):

Yeah. He went backwards, countercultural, counterintuitive. God pulled him backwards from what we think we should be doing.

Sharon (13:42):

Yes. And it doesn’t sound like he was impatient with God til, (Nicole: I know) I mean Sarah was one that got kind of impatient. (Yeah) And that’s why they had Ishmael. But Abraham just waited.

Nicole (13:51):

Yes. I just, I love that. Like I’ll give this land to your descendants. He didn’t say, I’d be like, God, what kids? I have no children, seventy-five. Where are my babies?

Sharon (14:00):

Yeah. We have more examples too.

Nicole (14:02):

Yeah, He had good patience.

Sharon (14:02):

Yeah. Jacob for instance, you know, he works seven years to marry Rachel. Which is a lot of time.

Nicole (14:08):

Yeah. When you’re in love.

Sharon (14:09):

And then he gets tricked into marrying Leah. So he has to work another seven years for Rachel. But he did it cause he loved her.

Nicole (14:16):

Mm-hmm.

Sharon (14:16):

So, patience there too.

Nicole (14:17):

Oh yeah. And then both David in the Psalms and his son Solomon in his writings, they both have a lot to say about patience too. You know, it honestly is better to slow down and live with what is actually happening instead of stamping our feet and trying to make things happen when they clearly won’t.

Sharon (14:32):

Yes it is.

Nicole (14:34):

So here’s a few verses to drive home this point. I really need to listen to these verses. So Proverbs 15:18, “A hot tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention”. That’s a good one. Proverbs 16:32 says, “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty. And he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city”. And then Psalm 37:7-9 says, “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. Fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices. Refrain from anger and forsake wrath. Fret not yourself. It tends only to evil. For the evil doers shall be cut off. But those who wait for the Lord shall inherit the land”. And then last I’ll read Ecclesiastes 7:8, “Better is the end of a thing than it’s beginning. And the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit”.

Sharon (15:35):

These are so good. I love that two of them say it’s better to be slow to anger. You know, anger gives you that adrenaline rush.

Nicole (15:45):

Mm-hmm.

Sharon (15:45):

So you feel like you have to do something.

Nicole (15:47):

Yes.

Sharon (15:48):

You’ve got all this like energy pounding through you and yet the wise person slows it down right there. (Nicole: Mm-hmm) I wish I’d learned this years ago because I would give into that anger and I would say things that then I had to go back and repair damage to. (Right) Over and over again. One of the saddest homeschool days of the Gamble family, homeschool life, back when we were in Germany, Ray was at the Persian Gulf War. (Yeah) And I had Kathryn and Mary at home. And so I was, you know, a single parent basically.

Nicole (16:26):

Oh yeah.

Sharon (16:26):

They were with me all the time. And I love my children, but I just (Nicole: I remember those days) just wanted grown up time. Right?

Nicole (16:33):

Yes.

Sharon (16:33):

And I was homeschooling to boot so they didn’t even go away to school. They were with me all the time. So I had been given an invitation from some friends to go out to lunch.

Nicole (16:43):

Oh nice.

Sharon (16:44):

And I really wanted to go, but I was also pretty rigid about homeschool. I had to get the homeschool done first.

Nicole (16:50):

Right.

Sharon (16:50):

You know, because in my mind, if I’m going to homeschool, they have to do it.

Nicole (16:54):

You’re gonna do it well, yes.

Sharon (16:56):

And at that point I was pretty non-negotiable about it. So inevitably when you want your children to go quickly, you know where I’m going with this?

Nicole (17:02):

Oh my goodness. They do the exact opposite.

Sharon (17:03):

Right. (Nicole: Mm-hmm) I’m like hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. I wanna go to dinner. I’m gonna have to cancel the lunch if you are not quick.

Nicole (17:10):

Right, right, right.

Sharon (17:10):

So poor Kathryn gets so freaked out by the fact that I’m pushing her and pushing her that she tries to go too fast.

Nicole (17:19):

Yeah.

Sharon (17:19):

Right. And she’s a straight A student. She was valedictorian of her high school class. She’s brilliant. She has her master’s degree. (Nicole: Yeah) But that particular day she could not do the work because her mother was breathing down her neck. And so she got everything wrong on her spelling test and it was really slow. (Yeah) Which is not Kathryn. (Yeah) And I lost it. (Mm-hmm) I put a big red F across that page. I told her how terrible her spell— I did everything wrong.

Nicole (17:46):

Oh yeah.

Sharon (17:47):

Everything wrong. Everything you should never do.

Nicole (17:49):

I laugh cause I’ve been there.

Sharon (17:51):

Oh, oh it was awful.

Nicole (17:51):

Oh, I know. It’s like why?

Sharon (17:52):

We still talk about the day of the F. Because she got A’s. Mary and she got A’s.

Nicole (17:58):

That one time Kathryn got an F.

Sharon (17:59):

Mary also did terribly too. You know, they both did terribly because I was impatient.

Nicole (18:04):

Yes.

Sharon (18:05):

And then I made it worse by shouting at them. And then of course I had to cancel the lunch because I had to undo the damage I had just done.

Nicole (18:14):

Now you have traumatized, crying children. It’s like, oh, oh no.

Sharon (18:17):

Yeah.

Nicole (18:17):

I can’t.

Sharon (18:18):

I can’t.

Nicole (18:18):

Yeah.

Sharon (18:18):

So served me right.

Nicole (18:20):

You know that’s so interesting.

Sharon (18:21):

Slow to anger, if I’d been slow to anger.

Nicole (18:23):

Yeah.

Sharon (18:24):

It’s so much better.

Nicole (18:25):

It feels like, with a warning to be slow to anger wrapped up with this, that impatience is the beginning of anger

Sharon (18:34):

Yes. That’s a good way to view it.

Nicole (18:34):

My goodness. It does escalate cause where else can it go?

Sharon (18:37):

Right.

Nicole (18:38):

If we’re impatient, it’s not gonna go anywhere good.

Sharon (18:40):

Nope.

Nicole (18:40):

It blossoms too, we are trying to force something that isn’t meant to be. And in that forcing, we cause chaos around us too.

Sharon (18:46):

We sure do. And we hurt the ones we love.

Nicole (18:48):

We do. Oh!

Sharon (18:49):

We absolutely hurt the ones we love.

Nicole (18:51):

Because I find when I’m impatient and forcing things that I want to go the way I want to go. I say things and I get nitpicky over things I normally would not do.

Sharon (18:58):

Exactly.

Nicole (18:58):

Like how come you didn’t put this on? Like, it doesn’t matter if their socks are on backwards, but when I’m impatient, suddenly it’s the end of the world. My child can’t put her socks on right. It’s like where did that come from?

Sharon (19:08):

Yeah. I love that thought. That impatience is a warning that you’re getting angry and you need to slow down and get patience instead.

Nicole (19:17):

Yep.

Sharon (19:18):

So slow to anger is so important.

Nicole (19:19):

It is.

Sharon (19:20):

And when anger comes, we gotta deal with it, of course. But not by spouting off the first things out of our heads or, or you have an F day and those are terrible days.

Nicole (19:29):

Yeah. Those are terrible days.

Sharon (19:30):

They’re terrible days.

Nicole (19:30):

And they’re not easily erased and (Sharon: No) thank the Lord that he uses these things and they become jokes later on.

Sharon (19:36):

I Know, my girls forgave me. Children are such sweet forgivers.

Nicole (19:40):

They are.

Sharon (19:41):

They really are.

Nicole (19:41):

They’re so good. They’re so gracious to us.

Sharon (19:43):

I’m so grateful for them.

Nicole (19:43):

There’s a lot of forgiving impatience stories, you know, are wrapped up in homeschooling too. We had a notorious day when I was a girl being homeschooled (Sharon: Yeah) where my mom had just had it and she threw a eraser at us. So we never, poor mom will never live it down. Remember that time you threw an eraser at my head. She’s like, you ducked. It was fine.

Sharon (20:03):

Yes. I see your mom has a better reaction. I’m like, don’t talk to me about the F day.

Nicole (20:08):

I know.

Sharon (20:08):

I still feel mortified.

Nicole (20:10):

Oh, so funny.

Sharon (20:11):

Oh my goodness. So anyways, Solomon and David have it right.

Nicole (20:16):

Yes.

Sharon (20:16):

Patience is so important.

Nicole (20:17):

It is.

Sharon (20:18):

It just is. So now we’re gonna get practical again. I love this. I love how we take the second part and say, okay, well all right, now what do we do with this?

Nicole (20:24):

Right. This is all great. How do we use it in real life?

Sharon (20:26):

Right. Right. So patience with God, family, Christians and non-Christians, starting with God. Okay. So patience with God. I, for me anyways, my patience with God comes when I pray for something and, you know, if it’s a straight no, you know I can get over it.

Nicole (20:44):

Right.

Sharon (20:44):

You know, please let it be a sunny day and it’s pouring rain. Okay, well that’s a no, I guess not. I guess the farmer was praying for rain and you know?

Nicole (20:51):

He won.

Sharon (20:52):

So, but when I’m praying for like a loved one to come to know Jesus?

Nicole (20:57):

Right.

Sharon (20:57):

Or somebody to change a behavior and it just doesn’t seem to be doing anything.

Nicole (21:02):

Mm-hmm. <affirmative> it.

Sharon (21:03):

I have to be patient knowing God is at work. But he is so gentle. (Nicole: Yeah) And he knows them better than I do. And he’s not going to make robots out of them. They get to choose. So I have had to practice patience over the years, praying for people. Trusting that even when I see nothing, when I pray God is moving in ways I just can’t see yet.

Nicole (21:26):

Yeah.

Sharon (21:26):

So that’s mine. How about you and patience with God?

Nicole (21:30):

It’s kind of similar. I think also, when I sit down to do quiet time with God, it’s like, okay, I’m here. I’m ready. Pour on the goodness. Fill me. Feel the love and the patience, the kindness, the goodness.

Sharon (21:40):

Yeah.

Nicole (21:40):

And it doesn’t come so quick sometimes.

Sharon (21:42):

And do it in five minutes.

Nicole (21:44):

Right. Like, God I have six and a half minutes before I have to go about my day. Like just give it to me, God, gimme all the goodness. And then it’s like I don’t feel it. So for me, patience with God is being still long enough for him to do the work in my heart.

Sharon (21:56):

Yes. Yes.

Nicole (21:57):

And when I’m praying for bad things to stop or sickness to go away or pain to go away, to realize that, like you said, he is working behind the scenes and not at the pace I would choose and not at the outcome that instant that I want. (Sharon: Uh-huh) But patience knowing that he’s got this, he knows the big picture.

Sharon (22:13):

Yes. Yes.

Nicole (22:13):

And it’s not just me he’s working in through the situation. There’s other people he’s also working through.

Sharon (22:18):

Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

Nicole (22:19):

At different places and I need to be patient with God as he works.

Sharon (22:23):

Yes. And trusting.

Nicole (22:24):

And trusting. Yes.

Sharon (22:26):

Exactly. Yeah. Well family requires a ton of patience.

Nicole (22:31):

We could be on this one for a while.

Sharon (22:33):

Yeah. Sometimes it’s easier to be patient with strangers that you don’t live with, right?

Nicole (22:37):

Yes it is.

Sharon (22:39):

As I was thinking about Ray and me as a couple, we are, we have very different interests. We just do, Ray loves tanks. He loves to play this game called Armored Warfare. And another one called World of Tanks where tanks, fight tanks.

Nicole (22:52):

I love it.

Sharon (22:54):

And, you know, I don’t find that particularly interesting, but then I love people. And I wanna talk about my team day and I wanna talk about Nicole and I on the podcast taping and all that stuff. And um, the best and kindest thing we can do for each other is patiently listen to the other. And we’ve both learned to do that. (Nicole: Yeah) I’ve learned to understand the tank battles. Thank you very much. And I can find out what level he’s at and discuss that with him. Right. And he takes our prayer sheet. We have a, you know, weekly prayer sheet and a monthly prayer sheet. (Yeah) He uses it every day and then he makes himself remember to ask me about whatever’s happening; like today he prayed for our podcast. (Yeah. Oh) So on our walk today, he’ll have a pause. (Mm-hmm) and I’ll know he’ll Rolodex through his mind.

Nicole (23:41):

Yes.

Sharon (23:41):

What was I praying about today so I can ask Sharon and then I need to pay attention when she talks about it.

Nicole (23:48):

Right.

Sharon (23:48):

And listen patiently to Sharon burble,

Nicole (23:51):

Yeah.

Sharon (23:51):

About my podcast time. So, but that’s offering patience to each other and letting each other ramble for a bit.

Nicole (23:59):

Oh yeah.

Sharon (23:59):

So that’s ours. How about you? How do you work with patience in your home?

Nicole (24:03):

It’s similar with Josh. We do have different interests, I’m learning to love tractors. Tractors and tanks.

Sharon (24:09):

Yes. Learn to love tractors. Yes.

Nicole (24:10):

Our sweet men, tractors and tanks. But there is, you know, that slowing down and, and actually listening. Cause sometimes you don’t wanna ask like, I don’t really wanna hear about it, but you know what, Hey, tell me about this tractor. Like how did you learn about it? What does this implement here do? I know the word implement now. So I feel pretty fancy.

Sharon (24:25):

I’m pretty impressed.

Nicole (24:26):

And then him listening to me talk about Sweet Selah and puppies and the kids’ day and actually listening. It does, it really does come back to you when you put a little effort into patience.

Sharon (24:35):

It does.

Nicole (24:36):

And then for the children, making allowance for their mistakes, I think knowing that they’re going to tie their shoe incredibly slowly or talk to me about something that, you know, at the worst possible time, like the big long dream when you’re trying to get ready in the morning.

Sharon (24:53):

The dreams. I had that too.

Nicole (24:54):

Oh, the dreams.

Sharon (24:55):

They wanna tell you every detail of the dreams.

Nicole (24:56):

Yes. Like you have such long dreams. It is interesting. (Sharon: Yeah) Yeah, we had three this morning. I’m like, oh, you all had big dreams. Okay.

Sharon (25:05):

In the car, tell me in the car.

Nicole (25:06):

Yes. So just being, giving myself like an okay, Nicole, you’re going to have to make space for this today.

Sharon (25:12):

Yes.

Nicole (25:12):

Because it’s going to happen, just expecting it to happen.

Sharon (25:15):

Yes.

Nicole (25:15):

It does make it a little bit like, okay. (Sharon: Mm-hmm) This was an interruption that I prayed about and I’m expecting so I’m more patient with it.

Sharon (25:21):

Exactly. And that’s why we can’t fill our days chock full.

Nicole (25:26):

Yes.

Sharon (25:26):

Because we have to allow for the patient times where we, (Nicole: Right) we want to slow down and listen. (Yeah) Because you sure want those kids to be talking to you as teenagers, right?

Nicole (25:36):

Yes.

Sharon (25:36):

And I sure want a good relationship with my Ray all my life.

Nicole (25:39):

After your kiddos are gone.

Sharon (25:41):

Yes. Yeah. It’s so important.

Nicole (25:41):

And it involves listening to those kind of boring dreams now.

Sharon (25:45):

Absolutely. It just does. Yes, you’re right. And then at church with Christians, the interesting thing about, you know, going to churches is you don’t get to, unless you’re a very bad church, you don’t get to choose the kind of people that are there.

Nicole (25:57):

Right.

Sharon (25:58):

I mean, I suppose in some very bad churches where you only allow certain people to belong that are like you, that might be different, but that’s not church. Church is welcoming people that are in all ages and stages and conditions.

Nicole (26:11):

Yes.

Sharon (26:11):

From the lady shaking with the drug addiction.

Nicole (26:13):

Right.

Sharon (26:14):

Right. Everybody. So, you, that means you and I, rub shoulders with people that are not like us. (Nicole: Mm-hmm) Who are going to talk about subjects that don’t necessarily interest us.

Nicole (26:26):

Right.

Sharon (26:26):

Who are going to choose to run a meeting in ways that we feel are highly inefficient.

Nicole (26:31):

Right.

Sharon (26:31):

Yes. And in all those cases, the fruit of the Spirit of patience blesses someone else. It’s a way to show love. Love is patient. (Nicole: Mm-mm) Love makes allowances for people that are different and lets them be them.

Nicole (26:48):

Yeah.

Sharon (26:49):

So that’s, you got anything else? I mean, that’s the church thing for me.

Nicole (26:52):

It’s hard to be, it’s hard to be patient with Christians sometimes cause like, I think we’re harsh with ourselves and harsh with them. Like, oh, you should be, you should have gotten this by now.

Sharon (27:00):

Yeah, come on.

Nicole (27:00):

You accepted Jesus in your heart. Like you just, you’re good, you should be there. And we’re not, we’re all in different, different, like, I love how they describe it, like different grades in school.

Sharon (27:10):

Mm-hmm.

Nicole (27:10):

I could be in kindergarten, you could be in fourth grade, but be patient with me, I’m still in kindergarten.

Sharon (27:13):

Sometimes you get sent back to preschool.

Nicole (27:14):

Stay back in preschool a couple years. (Sharon: Yeah) But we have to be patient with where we all are on our walk with God

Sharon (27:22):

Yes, we do. And that’s loving.

Nicole (27:23):

It is.

Sharon (27:24):

That’s so loving. So, and that’s what makes people feel comfortable at church.

Nicole (27:27):

Right.

Sharon (27:27):

Which we wanna be a welcoming, safe place.

Nicole (27:29):

Yes.

Sharon (27:30):

Yeah. So, and last of all non-Christians, well for example, witnessing to non-Christians takes time. You know? (Nicole: Yeah) You, you can’t be impatient and why didn’t you accept Jesus I told you about him. Right. You just have to love them as they are. (Yeah) You know, and receive them with all their quirks as well. (Yeah) I think a lot of loving patience is not demanding that people fit our idea of, you know, the most efficient and the most like us that they can be.

Nicole (28:03):

Right. Right, right.

Sharon (28:05):

You’ll let them be them.

Nicole (28:05):

Yeah. And I think what has been huge for me lately with being patient with non-believers is the realization that they don’t, they don’t know any better. They don’t have Jesus inside of them, like (Sharon: Mm-hmm) I’m no better than them. I have the Holy Spirit that prompts me to choose the right thing. That prompts me to love, joy, peace, patience, kindness. Without him I am no different than them.

Sharon (28:26):

Absolutely.

Nicole (28:26):

So to be patient with them because they don’t have the option to choose, that they can’t be patient because of the Holy Spirit. They don’t have him.

Sharon (28:34):

They don’t have him. Yeah. I’ve found this patience thing on a plane to be interesting too. Oh. Sometimes, you know, cause I do quite a lot of flying around.

Nicole (28:42):

Yeah.

Sharon (28:42):

Sometimes, you know, the plane stops and you know, you need to get out.

Nicole (28:46):

Yeah.

Sharon (28:47):

And for whatever reason the door doesn’t open for 25 minutes.

Nicole (28:51):

I know that’s the worst. Cause you just wanna get off at that point.

Sharon (28:53):

And then praying for that fruit of the Spirit. Lord, help me to just receive what is mm-hmm. I can’t make that door open. The airline people have a reason and I don’t know what it is.

Nicole (29:03):

And what a good example. Cause everyone gets a little testy after a long flight.

Sharon (29:06):

Yeah.

Nicole (29:06):

I just wanna get off Yeah. Get a little claustrophobic.

Speaker 3 (29:09):

So just the waiting in line thing. (Nicole: Yeah) And trying to bring a sense of peace as well.

Nicole (29:14):

Yes.

Sharon (29:15):

By our patience in lines and in waiting in public. So, yeah.

Nicole (29:19):

That’d be a good one.

Sharon (29:21):

Yeah. So, okay, well we’re gonna pray for patience. Sorry everyone.

Nicole (29:26):

Oh, no! Brace yourself world. We’re praying for patience.

Sharon (29:28):

Oh, heavenly Father. And we do need it. And I do pray for it, Lord, because that F day was such an awful day when I didn’t have it. So Lord, we truly do ask you to pour into us that fruit of patience, the slowing down, the listening to someone else out of love. The receiving what is and not trying to kick open doors out of our own anger and selfishness. Holy God, thank you that we can ask you for it. That we don’t have to try to manufacture it. So I ask in Jesus’ name that all of us would receive the gift of the fruit of patience this week and be amazed at what you’re gonna do because we’ve shown love through patience. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Nicole (30:21):

Amen. Thank you for joining us for this episode. We hope that if God gives you the opportunities to practice patience this week, that you smile and remember this podcast and nail it. I suspect God’s gonna give me a few lessons in patience as well. It’s how we remember the lessons. We always love to hear from you. So write us at sweetselah.org/podcast or donate @sweetselah.org/donate. If you want to join the growing number of women coming to our retreat in September, make sure you go to our website SweetSelah.org and look for Refuge Retreat 2023. We have women coming from 19 different states so far. The best spots for sleeping are filling fast. We would love to meet you there. Check out the video on the retreat page and then consider registering. It’s only $55 to register and housing and food can be as little as $145 for the weekends. This is an affordable three day retreat with nationally known speakers and beautiful places to sit and admire New Hampshire’s Lake and Mountain region in the early fall. Oh, we would so love to meet you there, and come back next week for episode 102, Kindling Kindness in Ourselves and Others. Kindness is a dying virtue it seems these days. Let’s rekindle our desire to be kind in our own lives and in the lives of those we love. Have a great week.

Speaker 1 (31:43):

We are so glad you stopped for a while with us. The Sweet Selah Moments Podcast is a cooperative production of Word Radio and Sweet Selah Ministries. More information about this podcast can be found@sweetselah.org. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for joining us.