Mama Bear

There he came to a cave and lodged in it. And behold, the word of the LORD came to him, and he said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” He said, “I have been very jealous for the LORD, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away.” —1 Kings 19:9-10 ESV

Recently, I attended a workshop focused on spiritual and emotional healing. One week prior I was to track anything that made me react in an ungodly way (anxiety, lashing out, obsessive thoughts, etc.). Of course, God gave me plenty of material! Nevertheless, the preparation for the workshop tilled the soil of my heart and prepared me to receive the gift of letting go by revealing the unhealthy patterns that kept me from the freedom God wants for me.

Unfortunately, for most of my adult life, I was like a mama bear in the woods, interjecting my bark whenever I perceived a threat to my cubs. Graciously, God showed me the pattern of panic, fear, and anger I experienced when “triggered” by something I perceived as bad. Then, during the recent workshop, He revealed that my unwillingness to trust Him was leading to an insatiable appetite for control, especially when it came to my family, their well-being, and their future. Consequently, my “mama bear” tendencies were not based on love but rooted in a sense of shame, self-righteousness, and fear. Also, I believed deep down that God would drop the ball. That this time (even though it’s never happened before) He wouldn’t be God. What I really felt was that He wouldn’t give me what I wanted—smooth sailing right into Heaven’s harbor.

This is where I identify most with Elijah. He spoke the word of God and the rain stopped. He challenged the priests of Baal and called down fire from Heaven to consume wet wood. Each time God showed up in a big way. However, when Elijah was worn down and blindsided by a death threat from the queen, he crumpled into a paper ball and threw himself into a cave. Why? Because he didn’t trust God. Even though God had worked mightily through him in the past, he doubted God would do it again.

“What are you doing here, Elijah?” God asked.

“I have been very jealous for the Lord, the God of hosts. For the people of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword, and I, even I only, am left, and they seek my life, to take it away” (1 Kings 19:9-10 ESV).

You see, when Elijah fled, he believed he had failed, and, more importantly, he believed God would not save him. He even thought it would be better if he died!

“What are you doing here, Elijah?” God asked again.

Here, I think God wanted Elijah to reflect on what he was believing. What am I doing here? Well, I don’t trust You to be God. I don’t think You’ll do what I want You to do. I don’t believe You will rescue me from Jezebel, even though You already promised You would, etc.

Oh, how I can relate! Like Elijah, I believed I was a failure, especially as a mom. However, through a very emotional time of revelation, confession, and repentance, I experienced freedom from the “have to” that compelled me for so long.So, what do I believe now? I believe I am who God says I am … His beloved daughter. Like a little girl in her Daddy’s arms, I get to rest. I have nothing to “fix” or prevent. God has it all under control. I can let others be themselves, even make mistakes, and it’s okay. As I mentioned before, it was a kind of spiritual relaxing. A powerful and upside-down way to live but I’m looking forward to walking it out, unrestrained by all those lies that entangled my feet.

Father, thank You for relieving me of the torturous habit of attempting to be God. You are God and there is no other! May I, like Elijah, listen to Your voice and run out of the cave of control and into Your capable arms.

In you, O LORD, do I take refuge;
let me never be put to shame!
In your righteousness deliver me and rescue me;
incline your ear to me, and save me!

Be to me a rock of refuge,
to which I may continually come;
you have given the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
—Psalm 71:1-3 ESV

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and
peace in believing, that you may abound in hope
by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13 NJKV).

Marlene McKenna

Sweet Selah Ministries

Vision
To inspire a movement away from the belief that “busy is better”
and toward the truth of God’s Word that stillness and knowing
Him matter most—and will be reflected in more effective work and service

 Mission
To offer biblical resources and retreats that help women pause (Selah)
and love God more deeply as they know Him more intimately (Sweet)

Donate
If you’ve been blessed, keep the blessing going!
Click over to our Donation page … and thanks.

Share it. Pin it.