Episode 103 – The Uniqueness of Goodness

Speaker 1 (00:01):

Welcome to a podcast designed to bring biblical encouragement to your weary soul. We are so glad you’re listening and we pray God blesses you and strengthens you in your walk with him. The Sweet Selah Moments Podcast is brought to you by the cooperative efforts of Sweet Selah Ministries and Word Radio. Sit back and enjoy.

Nicole (00:28):

Welcome to the Sweet Selah Moments Podcast. This is episode 103, the Uniqueness of Goodness. We’re examining the Fruit of the Spirit, one fruit at a time. Sharon, what makes goodness so unique?

Sharon (00:41):

Okay, well, I actually think goodness is the hardest of the fruit to define Nicole. It’s, it’s tricky because the Bible makes it clear that only God is truly good for starters. And what is good anyway? How is it uniquely different from love and joy and kindness and patience? They’re all good too. So this is what I think. I think goodness is an inner state of rightness with God that exhibits itself in countless ways and actions. But it’s unique in that, like with the other fruits, like patience. I can act patiently even if I don’t feel patient. (Nicole: Yeah) You know, I do that with children sometimes. When they were little, I was aggravated cause they were slow, but I acted patiently on the outside. (Yes) So that I was nice to them. Huh. Which inwardly, I wasn’t so much. I’d be like hurry up. I don’t think you can do that with goodness. (Mm-hmm) I don’t think you can act goodness without being good. I feel like that is it. It’s innately part of who you are and we either are inwardly right with God or we’re not. (Mmm) So that’s what I think is unique about it and it’s why it was tricky trying to work on a podcast about it. (Yeah) You know, but here we are. So, well let’s start with the dictionary. Now that you’ve heard my sort of fumbling attempts at describing it, tell me what the definition of goodness is from that perspective.

Nicole (02:02):

Yeah. So dictionary.com says ‘it is the quality of being morally good or virtuous, or the quality or state of being good’. And it said ‘kindly feeling’ so, okay. Goodness blossoms into feeling kindly. Um, the Greek word means ‘uprightness of heart and life’. So I looked up the word good also and here’s what I found, um, ‘that which is morally right; righteousness; goodness equals kindness’. So, as far as our inward goodness, I think sometimes we can pretend to be good a little bit, but I don’t think it’s as sustainable to fake, you know? (Sharon: Right) Like you can fake patience for a little bit. Cause at some point our hearts will be revealed and with it our motives. So if we’re not good with God, we really can’t fake goodness for long.

Sharon (02:47):

No, we cannot.

Nicole (02:48):

No. And then I looked, Biblestudytools.com says it so well, they said, ‘goodness in man is not a mere passive quality, but the deliberate preference of right to wrong; the firm and persistent resistance of all moral evil and the choosing and following of all moral good’. So wow. We will not just stumble on goodness, will we?

Sharon (03:10):

No, we will not.

Nicole (03:12):

No, it is yet again another fruit we really need God’s help on. It reminds me of the verse, Jeremiah 17:9-10. I only know it in the King James version, but—

Sharon (03:21):

I have verses like that, where it’s King James only because that’s what I memorized.

Nicole (03:23):

I can’t relearn it in a new version. But the version is ‘the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it? I the Lord.” So God knows we can’t do this and he’s here to help us find that goodness with him.

Sharon (03:41):

Absolutely.

Nicole (03:42):

Just very encouraging.

Sharon (03:42):

Yes, it is. And if God alone is good, (Nicole: Yes) the only way we have it within us is God within us helping us. (Mm-hmm) So.

Nicole (03:49):

So true.

Sharon (03:50):

Well, let’s look at some bible verses that talk about goodness and maybe that will continue to flesh out this, (Nicole: what this looks like) Christian character trait. So, I’ll start with Jeremiah 6:16, this is what the Lord says. And notice all the action words here. I was having so much fun with the verbs. (Oh) So I’m gonna emphasize verbs as I read it. “Stand at the crossroads and look, ask for the ancient paths. Ask where the good way is and walk in it and you will find rest for your souls. But you said we will not walk in it.” Oh my goodness. That’s such a sad ending to such a really good verse.

Nicole (04:29):

It is Oh, we will not walk in it.

Sharon (04:32):

I know it. Yes. And yet here, step by step, Jeremiah tells us how to find the good way. First we stand. We’re at that crossroads. Just stop. I’m so big about stopping, you know, I am. So the stop, the selah.

Nicole (04:47):

Yes.

Sharon (04:47):

The whoa, whoa, whoa, there’s a crossroads here. I need to stop. And then look and ask for the— ,why do you think the ancient paths? Look for the ancient ones. That’s fascinating.

Nicole (04:55):

Well, maybe the new ones were built toward like a newer thing that wasn’t established or didn’t have good rules yet. You know, the old ones were true and trusting. You knew they were clear and safe.

Sharon (05:07):

Tried and true. Exactly.

Nicole (05:07):

Yeah, they’d lead you to where you needed to go.

Sharon (05:10):

Yeah. Yeah. That’s so true. Plus ancient. I mean, God’s truth has not changed.

Nicole (05:14):

Yeah.

Sharon (05:14):

When we try to make up new things,

Nicole (05:17):

Doesn’t always work so good.

Sharon (05:18):

No. No. His truth is his truth. (Nicole: Yeah) Ask where the good way is and then when we find it, we walk in it and that gives us rest (Wow) for our souls, which is the most beautiful thing. So part of goodness is being still, we get good by being still and soaking in the Lord, which is why I adore Selah times. And I know you do too. (Yes) So tell us a little bit about Selah times and then I’ll tell you a little bit about Selah times because I think this is important that we don’t just have short times with God. (Yeah) But we have occasional long times with God.

Nicole (05:52):

They’re really different. The short versus the long times with God.

Sharon (05:55):

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Nicole (05:55):

This verse is so simple, but not easy. You know, you see very clearly stand, look, ask and walk, and then you find rest. But it’s the doing part that’s so hard sometimes.

Sharon (06:06):

Yes.

Nicole (06:07):

You know, I have not had a Selah time in a long time, like a full out day with God. And it really shows in my life, you know, I feel that tight ball of hurry that kind of builds up in my chest. And you get that feeling again of like, oh, I’m a hamster on a wheel trying to do more faster to catch up or to get ahead. And that deep soul rest, you know, that calm that comes from just sitting in stillness with the one who can see you to your innermost self. You know? And just having that loving God that knows truly who I am, and he still loves me.

Sharon (06:37):

Yes.

Nicole (06:38):

He sees like all the yucky stuff and he still loves me you know? There’s nothing like being in that place in your heart and mind. Um, and you know, for me it takes me a long time to process and deal with things right as they come, they happen. So I put it in a box labeled ‘I’ll deal with that later’.

Sharon (06:51):

You put it in a box, that’s good, yeah. Yeah.

Nicole (06:52):

You know, I just, I don’t have time for those emotions. We’ll deal with them later, but Selah times with God, I get to sit, still my mind, still my body, and kind of unpack some of those things that have been stored up. And then there’s this peace and stillness.

Sharon (07:04):

Yes.

Nicole (07:04):

And that basking in his love. And I always come back so refreshed and ready to do things and I’m a better me. (Sharon: Yeah) And I work better. (Mm-hmm) But there’s still that block of like, Ooh. But if I stop, will I get more behind? So I am always kind of wrestling with that. (Mm-hmm) And when I do it, I’m like, I should have done this earlier. It’s always good. (Yeah) But getting to that point,

Sharon (07:25):

It’s so hard.

Nicole (07:26):

It’s so tough.

Sharon (07:27):

I know. I know.

Nicole (07:27):

It shouldn’t be this hard.

Sharon (07:29):

Well, I think the enemy fights against us being still.

Nicole (07:32):

Yeah.

Sharon (07:32):

He wants to keep us just on the hamster wheel. And, and yes, it is counterintuitive that taking a day off will help you work better.

Nicole (07:42):

It does feel that way, doesn’t it? But there’s, there’s so much science now that backs that rest does make us work better.

Sharon (07:48):

It does. It makes us more effective.

Nicole (07:48):

Yes.

Sharon (07:50):

We, we run the hamster wheel less and less effectively unless we get that rest.

Nicole (07:54):

Yeah.

Sharon (07:54):

So I still, I mean, I do one every month. (Nicole: Mm-hmm) Granted, I don’t have four children, and a puppy business. So Yeah. It’s a little easier for me, but, um, I still, even then I’m leaving work undone. (Yeah) And, and for the work ethic, the American work ethic? (Oh, sure) That’s hard. (Yeah) That is always hard. But, but when I, you know, break away and just say to myself, Sharon, the universe will run without you for a day. Surprise, surprise. You’re not as essential as you think you are. You may go away for the day.

Nicole (08:28):

Yep. Don’t we think that though? Like, oh, everything will fall apart without me in control.

Sharon (08:32):

Exactly. I know it. I have to be there. So, lately for my Selah days, I’ve been doing Christian biography or autobiography.

Nicole (08:41):

Oh, fun.

Sharon (08:42):

For a long time I was reading non-Christian books and the Bible of course. (Nicole: Yeah) And, and praying. And that’s been wonderful and rich. And, but my mind is tired, I think, by the time I get to a Selah Day. And Dr. Saundra Dalton Smith (Yes) who is gonna be one of our speakers at the retreat, wrote a book called ‘Sacred Rest and the Body’s Seven Needs for Rest’. One of her seven needs for rest is a mental rest. (Oh) And I really, I feel like I needed permission on my Selah Days to not do the intellectual thing. (Yes) For some reason, I associated a Selah Day with deep study of the root words, you know, in the Bible in Strong’s Concordance.

Nicole (09:21):

The Greek and Hebrew. Right?

Sharon (09:23):

Right. And that’s fine.

Nicole (09:25):

It is. Yeah.

Sharon (09:25):

But lately what God’s been leading me to is reading biography and learning from the lives of saints that have gone before me. I’m reading, have you ever heard of Patricia St. John?

Nicole (09:37):

No.

Sharon (09:38):

She’s written a lot of children’s books, like ‘Treasures of the Snow’. Wonderful book. You need to get it for your girls.

Nicole (09:44):

Oh! Yes.

Sharon (09:45):

And she was a missionary for years and years and years, in I think Morocco.

Nicole (09:49):

Wow.

Sharon (09:50):

Now I can’t remember the name of the place, but she ministered with very little results. (Nicole: Wow) But she gave her life to it. And, a few came to know Jesus. (Mmmm). And by the end of her life, you know, people were witnessing to what she had done that she didn’t even see herself.

Nicole (10:08):

Oh, that’s so sweet.

Sharon (10:09):

And it’s her autobiography. And Nicole, on every page I’m renewed.

Nicole (10:14):

Wow.

Sharon (10:15):

By the dedication of this woman. It is, it’s just what I need for this season.

Nicole (10:20):

Right.

Sharon (10:20):

You know?

Nicole (10:21):

Oh, that’s so fun.

Sharon (10:22):

So, it’s so good. So Selah Days basically are just setting aside three to six hours. It’s not like you take 24. I mean, if you can, go for it.

Nicole (10:31):

I know. Hey.

Sharon (10:31):

Right.

Nicole (10:32):

That’d be amazing.

Sharon (10:33):

But, I usually take five to six, and I take the best hours of the day, like 9:00 to 3:00 or you know, 8:00 to 2:00. And it’s God’s time. It’s just offered up to him. And so I try not to have a set agenda. (Nicole: Right, right) Because I want to be free to, you know, read a passage in the Word, be intensely praying for somebody that’s sick. (Yes) Whatever God tells me. (Yeah) Sometimes I nap, which is always refreshing in the middle of it.

Nicole (11:01):

That’s so fun to be allowed to take a nap.

Sharon (11:04):

So fun. Yep. And sometimes I just take a walk and admire nature. God shows me each time. (Nicole: Yeah) But you know how you’re talking about the the tight ball? (Yes) He unravels it. (He does in just those four or five hours) At the end of it, it’s really, it’s really different. (Yeah) You come home different and you come home more able to get back into the fray. So anyways, cutting a long story, well, it’s already long, shorter than it could be. We love Selah time.

Nicole (11:33):

We love Selah time. Yes. You need it. We need it.

Sharon (11:36):

We need it.

Nicole (11:37):

So do it.

Sharon (11:37):

Yes.

Nicole (11:38):

All right. So the next passage of scripture is advice from Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived. (Sharon: Mm-hmm) Proverbs 2:9 says, “Then you will understand what is right and just, and fair, every good path”. So to understand the good path, we need to go back to verse one and read it in context. So Sharon, why don’t you start with verse one and let’s read it back and forth, and then we’ll discuss each verse to kind of really unpack this wisdom.

Sharon (12:03):

Yes. All right, let’s do it. All right. Verse one. And this is leading up to the good path, “My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you,”

Nicole (12:15):

“Turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding,”

Sharon (12:19):

“Indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding,”

Nicole (12:23):

“And if you look for it as for silver, and search for it as for hidden treasure,”

Sharon (12:28):

“Then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.”

Nicole (12:33):

“For the Lord gives wisdom. From his mouth, come knowledge and understanding.”

Sharon (12:37):

“He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless.”

Nicole (12:44):

“For he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.”

Sharon (12:48):

“Then you will understand what is right and just and fair. Every good path.”

Nicole (12:54):

“For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul.”

Sharon (12:59):

All right. So here are the, here’s the instructions. First of all, I’ve gotta accept the words. I’ve gotta accept that God’s words are truth. And then I’ve gotta store them up. I’ve gotta know them, which is a quiet time, basically. That’s verse one.

Nicole (13:11):

Right. Perfect. Verse two, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding. So storing them up, but also being willing to listen to wisdom.

Sharon (13:21):

Yes.

Nicole (13:21):

Are we open to it? Is our heart willing to receive that, ‘applying your heart to understanding’? So.

Sharon (13:26):

Mm-hmm. And part of a good quiet time is saying, help me listen. (Nicole: Yes) So that we actually get something out of reading the Bible. (Absolutely). Indeed, we’re getting louder now, (Ha ha) If you call out for insight and cry aloud. (Mmm-hmm) Okay. So now he’s saying, this is important enough that you need to cry out for it. (Yeah) This is no small thing to find that good path.

Nicole (13:46):

Find that passion for it, (Sharon: Yes) really reach out. Oh, good. (Yeah) And if you look for it as for silver, and search for it as for hidden treasure. So again, that passion and drive that this is important enough to set aside my daily activities and look for that treasure. My, my kindergartner just did a play about this. It was so cute— at school— (Oh really?) about searching for the hidden treasure. They each had a little thing about, they had a a thing, they all took turns speaking. (Yeah) And they were talking about how God was the best treasure of all. And how this man had sold everything he had (with this treasure map) to buy the treasure map and go find the treasure. And he finally got there and it was the best thing ever. And it talked about how Jesus is our treasure. But it was so cute.

Sharon (14:23):

That’s awesome. But the kids are learning it so early. I love that.

Nicole (14:27):

Yeah. That Jesus is a treasure, we really should put aside (Sharon: Everything else) and search with everything in us. Yeah.

Sharon (14:32):

Yeah. Yeah.

Nicole (14:32):

Okay.

Sharon (14:34):

Okay. So then if we do all these things, we will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. So here’s part of our reward. Understanding.

Nicole (14:43):

Yeah.

Sharon (14:43):

Knowing God.

Nicole (14:44):

And that’s a gift.

Sharon (14:45):

Yes.

Nicole (14:45):

“For the Lord, gives wisdom, from his mouth, come knowledge and understanding.” So this has to come from God. We can’t just sit there and think up on our own how we’re gonna do this and what’s the right path, or listen to people that are not following God closely.

Sharon (14:58):

True.

Nicole (14:58):

Or we’re gonna get ourselves in trouble. (Sharon: Yeah) We need to make sure it’s coming from God.

Sharon (15:01):

Because he’s the one who holds success in store for the upright. He’s the shield for those whose walk is blameless. It’s only in him.

Nicole (15:09):

Yep. Exactly. And then this one kind of piggybacks off that, but “for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful one”. I just love that. When we’re seeking him, looking for him as a treasure, and walking in his way, he’s gonna protect us. (Sharon: Yep) And make sure that we stay on that path if we’re close to him. (Mm-hmm)That’s really cool. What a good promise.

Sharon (15:27):

That’s, that’s where his protection is, is on that path.

Nicole (15:30):

Yeah.

Sharon (15:30):

Not so much when we’re wandering off into the brambles. Right?

Nicole (15:33):

You’re right. Yeah. Wow.

Sharon (15:35):

So then here’s our key verse. “You will understand what is right and just and fair, every good path.” All this looking, seeking, being with God (Nicole: Yes) ends up with us finding the good path. Yay!

Nicole (15:47):

Hmm. Where we should be. Yes. And the last verse, “For wisdom will enter your heart and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul”. Like at this point, it’s all kind of settling into your heart, becoming part of who you are. That wisdom, you know? (Sharon: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah) And then it’s something that you enjoy. Sometimes it’s like, oh, reading my Bible. But the more you do it, the more you long for it.

Sharon (16:06):

You sure do.

Nicole (16:06):

The more your appetite is bigger for it.

Sharon (16:08):

Absolutely. Oh, neat. Well, the next verses are from Ephesians 5:8-9, “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord, live as children of light. For the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness, and truth. And find out what pleases the Lord. The fruit of the light is goodness”.

Nicole (16:31):

Yeah.

Sharon (16:32):

Oh my goodness. Listen to me. Oh my goodness. It’s goodness.

Nicole (16:34):

Oh my goodness. It really is.

Sharon (16:37):

So, the uniqueness of goodness is that’s, that’s where the light comes from. And out of goodness comes the kindness that gets associated with all this stuff.

Nicole (16:44):

That’s really cool, isn’t it?

Sharon (16:44):

Yeah.

Nicole (16:45):

Goodness really is an intrinsic thing, really, to bring about those other fruits and the light. I like that.

Sharon (16:51):

It is. Yeah. Yeah. So it’s, it’s also a matter of integrity. It starts inside you. (Nicole: Yeah) And integrity is when you’re the same inside and out. (Right) I used to joke that at the Moms in Prayer Getaways I went to with the other state coordinators, (Yeah) not only did no one say anything negative to me all week, they didn’t think it. I mean, they just all seemed, maybe they did, right? But it seemed like it was a week of integrity where our insides and outsides were just aligned with the goodness of God.

Nicole (17:19):

That’s really special.

Sharon (17:20):

Really a beautiful, beautiful time.

Nicole (17:21):

That’s awesome. No one even thought it.

Sharon (17:24):

Oh, man. So, all right. Let’s conclude this section with two more passages from Ephesians Nicole. Both urge us to be like God, the only one who is good inside and out. So why don’t you read Ephesians 4:22-24?

Nicole (17:39):

All right. “Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature created to be like God, truly righteous and holy.”

Sharon (17:58):

So there we have the old sin nature does not have God within it. You can’t be good. And then we’re putting on that new self, the new thoughts, new attitudes. And that’s when we, we have the goodness because it’s his.

Nicole (18:10):

That’s a good idea.

Sharon (18:11):

Yeah. And Ephesians five, I love verse one. “Imitate God.” I mean, we could just stop there.

Nicole (18:16):

Yeah.

Sharon (18:16):

Just, just be like God. Right? (Nicole: Simple) “Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us. A pleasing aroma to God.” Live a life of love like Jesus. (Yeah) Imitate God. Isn’t that beautiful?

Nicole (18:42):

It is. It reminds me that imitate God because you are his dear children. I just think of our little kiddos, you know, and you’re getting ready and they’re, besides you trying to fake put on makeup or do their hair.

Sharon (18:51):

Yes.

Nicole (18:52):

Or they follow daddy out in the yard and they’ll be raking next to dad and making a terrible mess and not doing it well, but they’re trying, they’re imitating mom and dad. (Sharon: Mm-hmm) They’re imitating us (Mm-hmm) because they’re our dear children. They love us and we love them. And so taking that to my relationship with God, that I know I’m not gonna rake a nice pile of leaves behind him. (Right) Or be as good as I should at the first try. But to continually seek to imitate him.

Sharon (19:13):

I love that. Exactly.

Nicole (19:15):

That’s where I need to be. Yeah.

Sharon (19:16):

And it places him when we rake leaves beside him.

Nicole (19:18):

I know.

Sharon (19:19):

Right? It does.

Nicole (19:20):

Even if it’s a yucky little funny pile. He still loves us. We’re trying.

Sharon (19:21):

Right. Right. Yeah, yeah.

Nicole (19:23):

He’s so gentle in his teaching of us.

Sharon (19:28):

He is so gentle. I’m so thankful for that. I really, really am. And we need it. We need to be with him so we can reflect him. (Nicole: Yes) So that we can have that light in us. Goodness comes from God alone. (Mm-hmm) We can’t fake it for long. You’re right. (No) I feel like goodness really is an inner integrity (Yeah) of our ourselves. (Yep) So, all right. So now we’re gonna talk about application. We’re gonna look at how we utilize that fruit of goodness in our relationships with God, with family, with Christians and others. Nicole, you’re up first. How do we do goodness with God?

Nicole (20:05):

Hmm. I know.

Sharon (20:06):

I told you this is, to me, this is the hardest attribute to think about.

Nicole (20:08):

This is tricky. I was thinking too in my quiet time, in my Selah times with him, to be honest. It’s kind of a good start. (Sharon: Yeah) He already knows our hearts. He knows where we’re at. But if we can be honest about our need for him and where we’re struggling, I think he can start a good work in us and bring out true goodness from him. If we’re honest where we’re at. So if we’re like, oh no, I’m fine, I’m doing good. I’m, I’m doing good works. We’re not gonna be able to be taught by him.

Sharon (20:32):

Here I am, your faithful servant.

Nicole (20:34):

Yes. Sitting to do my devotions.

Sharon (20:35):

Did you notice what I did yesterday?

Nicole (20:36):

Yes. Yeah. But I think we can let, um, I don’t know, like self denial kind of get in the way of God, I’m not good. I need you. My goodness. My good works are nothing (Sharon: Mm-hmm) if it’s not for you. (Mm-hmm, yeah). So just that admitting like, I need you.

Sharon (20:51):

Absolutely. You know, it’s funny, I landed on exactly the same thing.

Nicole (20:54):

Oh yeah. That’s funny.

Sharon (20:55):

You can’t lie to God.

Nicole (20:56):

Yeah.

Sharon (20:57):

You need to come and confess sin. You need to say (Nicole: Yes) You saw my, my attitude yesterday, Lord.

Nicole (21:03):

Yes. When I was fighting patience.

Sharon (21:06):

I might have hid it from everybody else, but you saw it. (Nicole: Yeah) And we need to work on this Father, because I don’t wanna just be nice on the outside. (Right) I really would. I would really want to inside want to be nice. Can we, can we get past that, Uh, you know, the acting good to the being good?

Nicole (21:23):

Yeah. Just skip ahead to that.

Sharon (21:24):

:So. And I think that pleases God. (Nicole: Yeah) And we’re like, help me. Help me. Help me. (Mm-hmm) And the nice thing about confession is he washes you clean and then you are good. That’s what’s so stunning about it.

Nicole (21:35):

Oh, that’s true. That’s so fun.

Sharon (21:36):

We can always be good. (Nicole: Yeah) Not cause we are, but because we confess and he gives us, he clothes us. He puts on his righteousness on us. (Mmm) We don’t ever have to stay messy. It might mean a lot of confessing. (Mm-hmm) But he’s up for that. He’s the one that said, how many times did you forgive? Oh. Seventy times seven every day.

Nicole (21:58):

He never gets tired of forgiving us. I can’t get over that. Cause I get tired of forgiving.

Sharon (22:02):

I know. I do too. And I think that’s why we stay away from him sometimes, because it’s so embarrassing.

Nicole (22:08):

Yep. I’m back here again.

Sharon (22:09):

Yeah. Here I am again. Surely you’re as sick of this as I am. (Nicole: Right) And he’s just like, I’m so glad you came. Let’s wash you clean. (Mm-hmm) Let’s do it again.

Nicole (22:18):

Let’s start again. Oh, he’s such a good God.

Sharon (22:20):

isn’t that wonderful? So that’s God. Pretty good.

Nicole (22:23):

That is good.

Sharon (22:23):

So I’ll start with family and then you can do family with goodness. Well, I think with family, my family right now, my immediate family is Ray. (Nicole: Yeah) And if you wanna count Bella. The dog. So, um, I think living honestly with Ray, being me with Ray. (Yeah) And you know, this is so silly, but, um, we like walking every day. (Yeah) But the other day it was so cold again and it’s offensive when it’s cold this time of year. (Yes!) So Ray said, why don’t we dance instead because Ray has made playlists. Nicole, I am not kidding you.

Nicole (22:59):

I can’t picture him.

Sharon (23:01):

We have, I know, does Ray not look like not a dancer? (Nicole: No) So he has a 1950s, you know? (Oh fun) Then the sixties, the seventies and eighties and the nineties. So we chose the 1960s. (Yeah) Yeah. And we could, nobody should ever see us do this. We look ridiculous, but we dance three fast dances and one slow dance and we just let loose. (That’s so fun.) Because I’ve been married to him for 43 years and I can live with integrity (Mm-hmm) with Ray, I can just be me. (Oh) So we boogie along and then we do a slow dance together and it’s so good.

Nicole (23:35):

That’s so cute Sharon.

Sharon (23:35):

It was really fun. I’m like, we should do the dancing thing more often. We used to do it during Covid.

Nicole (23:44):

Oh, that’s a good idea.

Sharon (23:45):

But he still had the playlist, so we did it again. So anyways, the whole point is how wonderful that we can be ourselves with our family. (Nicole: Yeah) I would not dance like that in front of you, even though I love you and you’re my friend. (Right) You know, but I can in front of Ray and it’s just the sweetest thing. So that’s a silly example, but in all ways my goodness should be internal. (Yes) And, and honest with Ray. (Mm-hmm) So that what comes out of me is a wealth of wanting him to be good and wanting to do good for him.

Nicole (24:20):

Oh, that’s so good.

Sharon (24:21):

So that was, that was mine. How about you?

Nicole (24:23):

Kind of similar again, I put being kind and honest. That honesty I think is so important in that goodness journey.

Sharon (24:29):

Yeah. It is.

Nicole (24:30):

But you know, thinking of being the mother and the family and I have all the kiddos right now, kind of thinking about their good over my own and then making sure that I’m right and godly because I’m making a lot of decisions for them at this point in their lives.

Sharon (24:43):

Yeah. And they watch.

Nicole (24:43):

They do.

Sharon (24:44):

It’s so sad.

Nicole (24:45):

Yeah.

Sharon (24:45):

It’s one of the hardest things about teenagers because when they’re little, they just kind of blindly think you’re the greatest.

Nicole (24:51):

They keep saying, you’re the best mom ever. You’re never angry. I’m like, what?

Sharon (24:55):

How are you missing this?

Nicole (24:56):

How did you miss yesterday’s blow up?

Sharon (24:58):

Yes. Yeah. Well, when they’re teens they stop missing it. And so it’s a humbling thing, but it can be a really healthy thing. (Nicole: Yeah) You know, to go, wow, you’re noticing my flaws. (Mm-hmm) I was trying to hide them from you. (Right) So now let’s work on them together. (Yeah) And then the honesty comes. Thank you for showing me that. (Right, right) Which the original, the initial response and the one I often did, which I should not have done with my teens, was don’t you be rude to me. (Yeah) But you know, sometimes it needs to be Thank you. (Yeah) Thank you. I was sharp with you. (Mm-hmm) I agree. Mary one time said, you know, when I get to your age, I surely hope I’m more mature than you are.

Nicole (25:37):

Oh my goodness.

Sharon (25:38):

Oh yeah. That didn’t go over well.

Nicole (25:39):

I can’t imagine it would.

Sharon (25:41):

Yeah. Yeah. But she was right at that moment. And if I’d had more maturity, I would’ve said, you know, I hope you are too. (Nicole: Yeah) I’m really sorry that I let you down with that comment. (Right) I am so not perfect. Will you pray with me?

Nicole (25:55):

Oh, yeah.

Sharon (25:55):

This is where we have to get to. But we’re so used to when our kids are young, being the hero.

Nicole (26:01):

Right.

Sharon (26:01):

It’s really hard not to be the hero.

Nicole (26:02):

It’s a hard transition.

Sharon (26:04):

But it can be good because then you work with them on your own character while you’re working on theirs. So anyways, a little non-solicited advice there. You’re welcome.

Nicole (26:12):

I was gonna say it’s coming up soon. I’ll take it.

Sharon (26:15):

So, okay. So I forget who’s turn it is to go first for Christians.

Nicole (26:19):

I think, oh, you went first for family. So I’ll go first for Christians.

Sharon (26:23):

Okay, it’s yours.

Nicole (26:23):

So I kind of feel similar to my family response, but being honest and open where we are and I think more of making sure that I’m walking in goodness so I don’t affect the body of Christ in a negative way. So if I’m miserable and not close to God, it’s gonna affect where I’m serving in church in my attitude.

Sharon (26:38):

It is.

Nicole (26:38):

You know, cause we are a body. (Sharon: Yeah) So if one of us is having struggles,

Sharon (26:41):

Yeah. You’re right.

Nicole (26:42):

You gotta kind of help that person in struggle. So if I’m always struggling, cause I’m not spending time with God, I don’t have that goodness coming out, if I’m being a troublemaker. (Sharon: Yeah) That can be a real,

Sharon (26:51):

It can be a real downer.

Nicole (26:52):

It can.

Sharon (26:53):

For people. And then they have to practice all this grace on you.

Nicole (26:56):

Right. Which probably might be good for them, but—

Sharon (26:59):

We’d rather not be the sandpaper in their lives.

Nicole (27:01):

Yes. I don’t wanna be like the bum toe dragging along the body of Christ.

Sharon (27:04):

Right, right.

Nicole (27:04):

So just kind of making sure again, you know, our actions affect so many other people.

Sharon (27:08):

They do.

Nicole (27:08):

More than we know and want to admit some days.

Sharon (27:11):

Yep. I agree.

Nicole (27:11):

So just making sure that my heart’s right with him.

Sharon (27:13):

I agree. And I thought too that if we’re imitators of God and goodness we’re for them, we cheer them on. We’re not like jealous when they get something we don’t. (Nicole: Yeah) We’re just genuinely happy for them.

Nicole (27:25):

That’s a nice thing. Yeah.

Sharon (27:26):

And God, God is such an encourager, I wanna be an encourager. You know, and a quick forgiver?

Nicole (27:32):

Yes.

Sharon (27:32):

And God is all those things. (Nicole: Mm-hmm, no that’s good) So yeah. Okay. So how about non-Christians? Well, it’s still just being good. Sometimes that can mean not allowing somebody to be talked badly about. (Nicole: Yeah) Although that can happen with Christians too. (Mm-hmm) But defending them, making sure that we stand up for the person that is being maligned in some way. (Yeah) One of the most irritating goodnesses for me is, and it happens way too frequently, I tend to when I’m shopping, (Yeah) put things all over the cart, including the part where the baby sits (Yeah) and then put my coat over it. (Oh) I have, this is confession time, several times gone out of a Walmart or a Hannaford’s not having paid for what’s underneath my coat. And you get to the car and you’re in a hurry. (Yes) And you’re like, I didn’t pay for this $2 item. Well, back in woman. (Right, the pack of butter, yep) Back in. You go in and you pay for it and you wait in line again. You confess to the cashier.

Nicole (28:36):

Yes. And they’re, they look at you like you’re crazy cause you’re paying for your two, well, back then it was $1.50 eggs. Now it’s quite a thing to pay for your eggs. Mine was always eggs. I’d stick it underneath the baby carrier.

Sharon (28:46):

Oh, so you had that too?

Nicole (28:47):

Oh. Several times I’ve walked out and there’s a carton of eggs right there and I go, Ugh. And I bring the baby back inside with the eggs and I need to pay for these.

Sharon (28:54):

Yep. Yep. But that’s goodness. That’s goodness.

Nicole (28:56):

Yeah. And it’s an odd thing. (Sharon: Yeah) My thought was, I think that goodness is one of those fruits that stands out more than others in the world. (Mm-hmm) Because it really does set us apart as different. (Yes, it does) Because we’re making a stand for what is right when we’re choosing goodness.

Sharon (29:10):

Over what’s convenient or what is easy.

Nicole (29:12):

What is cultural. Yeah.

Sharon (29:14):

Right. Right.

Nicole (29:14):

Like it would’ve been so much easier to pack up that crying baby and take that carton of eggs with me.

Sharon (29:18):

Exactly.

Nicole (29:19):

And it really wouldn’t have hurt much for the forty-eight cents it was back then. But the thing is, when we stand for goodness, we really do stand out to the world.

Sharon (29:26):

We do.

Nicole (29:26):

And I think if we do it with gentleness and with truly God leading us, it can be a powerful (Sharon: It can be) impact to them and lead them to Christ.

Sharon (29:33):

Yeah. Yeah. And that’s what keeps us good. Doing the things nobody sees but God.

Nicole (29:38):

Yeah.

Sharon (29:38):

Who so sees it.

Nicole (29:39):

He does.

Sharon (29:40):

Which is why I’m back in there all the time.

Nicole (29:42):

With your, with your butter.

Sharon (29:43):

My butter. Well, this was fun. Let us pray. Oh Lord, I thank you that you can make me good because of your righteousness, not my own. Father, thank you that as often as I need to, I can come confess and be forgiven and made clean again. And how we praise you, Lord, for your goodness that never needs fixing like ours does. We honor you today, Lord. Help us to develop the fruit of goodness. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Nicole (30:18):

Amen. Well, goodness, this was a tough fruit to explore, but it all boils down to staying close to the Lord and letting his goodness change us from the inside out. Do you have any thoughts on goodness? Did we miss something you you’d wished we’d shared? Write us. We love to hear from our podcast listeners. You can find us @sweetselah.org/podcast. You can donate @sweetselah.org/donate. When you donate, tell us you are a podcast partner and we’ll add you to our monthly newsletter list. It’s a fun way to share stories with you about our own lives and the behind the scenes stuff that happens when trying to make these podcasts happen. We would be honored if you would take the time to write a review too. In any case, come back next week for episode 104, Walking in Faithfulness. Until then, may you be filled with the goodness of God.

Speaker 1 (31:10):

We are so glad you stopped for a while with us. The Sweet Selah Moments Podcast is a cooperative production of Word Radio and Sweet Selah Ministries. More information about this podcast can be found@sweetselah.org. Thank you for joining us.